Giving myself permission to go over my calorie budget is a Struggle.

A bit of background: I’m 5’7”, 23F and I started trying to lose weight October, 2019. As of today, I’ve lost 55 pounds, primarily through CICO, a 1200-1350 calorie budget, some intermittent fasting, and trying to cut out processed foods.

On to my current struggle: Today, I was advised to do something for myself. Something intentional to treat myself, essentially. One idea, among others, was having food that I like. My partner and I had a meal planned, and I would have been well within my calories for the day. But instead, I decided to get food from a local restaurant. I got a “wafflewich” with pimento cheese and bacon, as well as a pretzel braid and beer cheese nachos to share. They’re SO good and I enjoyed just about every bite.

I chose to treat myself with food since I don’t often do so. I know there are so many things I could have done for myself, but I felt like this would be a conscious choice and not just an emotionally-charged decision.

It felt like I had to convince myself to change my dinner plans and order out. I often find myself looking for permission to do things I don’t normally do (not that I NEED it, I just want validation). But it’s a struggle to do little nice things for myself to help my emotional/mental well-being when it feels like it goes against my goals for my physical well-being.

But my main take away is that I deserve a break once in a while, and I know it won’t derail my progress. It’s definitely a process to be easier and more compassionate to myself, but I’m getting there.