Does the pain ever go away?

My husband left for another woman over 5 months ago... I still love him so much. They have everything I ever wanted for our marriage and I just don't understand why he didn't want that with me. So many amazing memories together and he threw them all away for her. He refused to even try with me anymore from the minute they met. I knew it was coming and denied it all the way until they moved in together.

I'm so ridiculously lonely now. All our friends were also married, and it's just not the same now that I'm the only single friend. Not to mention I lost so many friends and dear family members because they knew him first unfortunately. Its just uncomfortable to see them now. Not to mention the people I do have are quarantined away.

I've poured myself into projects. Gardening, redecorating, etc. I feel so proud and happy, and then suddenly I crash. I miss having a partner the absolute most, but I'm so far from being ready to date. I miss my old life but I'd never take him back now. So what am I supposed to do? What is it that I'm wanting? Does this limbo ever stop?