r/shittyama•
-toad

I live in an alternate reality.

I live in an alternate reality where all urban roadways are replaced with monkey bars 150 meters in the air and it’s illegal to walk on the ground (punishable by $200 fine and 40 hrs community service). Buildings are entered from the top or side when you use this transportation; building significantly shorter than the bars are reached by ladders. There are also trains which are typically 100 meters in the air, but they accelerate and stop extremely quick and don’t have walls, roofs or seats; only poles to hold on to. Ask me Anything!

Posted Jun 18, 2020, 10:21 PM UTC · edited

321
ChickenCartriastrad man•

What is the average arm width in the United States?

2
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

Sorry, that question isn’t ready to be answered yet.

2
AnArgumentativeBoxVerified Sith Inquisitor Within Cells Interlinked•

When someone dies, do you consider it a good one?

What other parts of this alternate reality have you found to be different from the reality that which I live within?

Are you currently using any type of psychedelics?

I have a new car. You need to get into the car. And when you get in the car, you will see that it is actually within cells. And within those cells you will be within one stem, within cells, within a dream, with a tall white fountain played, within a dream, dreadfully distinct, within cells interlinked. Will you get in the car?

Car.

Within cells interlinked.

2
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

When someone dies, do you consider it a good one?

That depends on the death and on the person who died. For example, a wanted war criminal who kills and tortures innocent children and then dies painlessly on his bed is considered a good one. Why you may ask? It’s because the death of the person actually does something good to the world. Now the people who got hunted by him don’t have to worry about getting killed by him. And why is him dying painlessly a good one when he was a piece of shit who tortured other people? Because a painless death is considered a good death by society. I don’t know about you, but if I could choose the way I’ll die, I’ll choose that death. So even though he was a piece of shit, his painless death is considered a good one.

What other parts of this alternate reality have you found to be different from the reality that which I live within?

Things that are considered normal in your reality, are a no-go here. Like sneezing, talking or making ANY kind of noise in public. The people here do not find joy in life, yet the yearly suicide rate is at 0 percent. That’s right, nobody finds joy, but nobody can escape from this place. We do not have breaks. We work 15 hours a day, which gives us very little time to do thing with our family. The children get taken away from their real parents immediately and get raised by the government. There are no conflicts here; no wars, no disagreements, no different thinking. We do not have typical society names. Our names are numbers. Every human has their own number. We work for a communistic government. There are no crazy things happening here, no crazy jobs, no crazy people, no crazy places, no crazy houses (we all live in the same kinds of apartments) etc. It’s like the government did EVERYTHING to remove fun and joy from our lives. We can’t just go out and hang out with friends in a bar. We basically need a government permission for almost ANYTHING we do, and if we do it, we are being watched. The only way people die is by old age. There aren’t any dangerous diseases or people who try to fight the government. There’s a lot more things here different than your reality but that would be too long to describe. We do not know the plans of the government and we will probably never be free. Imagine it like North Korea but 10000000 times worse. This is hell on earth and there’s no escape. Something is going to happen.

Are you currently using any type of psychedelics?

Drugs or any other kind food other than rice is illegal.

I have a new car. You need to get into the car. And when you get in the car, you will see that it is actually within cells. And within those cells you will be within one stem, within cells, within a dream, with a tall white fountain played, within a dream, dreadfully distinct, within cells interlinked. Will you get in the car?

I cannot get in your car. I cannot interact with you in real life. We are being trapped by the government. We suffer everyday.

Car.

There’s no escape.

Within cells interlinked.

Pain everyday.

2
KeznenVerified Group Account :cat_blep:•

What happens to limbless people and people afraid of heights?

2
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

They do not exist.

2
JustARussianFurry•

That sounds like fun. How do I get there?

1
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

It is not possible to enter the alternate reality I am living through.

1
agree-with-you•

I agree, this does not seem possible.

1
HyruxsThe real Prophet•

This or that?

1
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

That is a question that can’t and will not be answered.

1

Can u walk on top of the monkey bars

1
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

It’s not illegal but it’s considered kind of a jerk thing to do like riding a bike on a ground sidewalk.

1

How do I walk my dog

1
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

You have to take a train to a dog park on the ground or one on the roof of your apartment but people in cities usually don’t have dogs anyway.

1
Mr-BugleVerified Expert Interrogator•

Do you live in an alternate reality?

1
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

I live in an alternate reality where all urban roads are replaced with monkey bars 150 meter in the air.

1
MCDamo87Maybe Verified•

What is the best alternate reality ice cream flavour?

1
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

We do not eat ice cream here. We only eat plain rice.

1
creamynute11aVerified Color Expert•

Whats your favorite color?

1
-toadOPhahahahahah, good one!•

Grey.

1