Trees cured me! Let me tell you about it...

Hello Ents! Hope you're having a lovely day...

For most of my 20 years of life, I suffered gradually worsening symptoms of social phobia, and avoidant personality disorder. It may seem silly to someone who doesn't experience these things, but those who do are aware just how frustrating and life-crippling it is to be terrified of the slightest social interaction. I gradually drew further and further from what few friends I had. I would even avoid buying things, because I knew I'd have to interact with the cashier for 5 seconds. My first year of college was disastrous. I made not a single friend. The permanent isolation I put on myself led to a very steep depression. I started seeing a psychiatrist on campus, who put me on all manner of drugs, and told me I was bipolar. The meds helped a little, but they made me incredibly nauseous, and I felt so artificial on them. After a month, I quit.

At the very worst of things, I basically gave up. When a friend from high school offered to introduce me to marijuana for the first time, my old inhibitions simply didn't care anymore. My first time, I got really, really high (of course I didn't know that then). We drove around the state for three hours while I sang along to the radio at the top of my lungs, smiling in a way I hadn't in years.

The next week, I went back to school and started buying and smoking my own. It happened slowly, at first, but over time I noticed myself being less tense, even when sober. I cared less about stupid things. When I spoke to someone, I no longer ran the conversation over and over in my head afterward, beating myself up over it. The old self-consciousness I used to constantly feel had melted away. I suddenly realized one day - talking to people is EASY! Hell, I not only didn't mind it, I actually sought out interaction with others! I'm not fully where I want to be yet, but I'm getting there. And trees is helping lead the way!

For all you Forever-Aloners out there: there is hope!