My 19 year old SS is coming to live with us and I am dreading it.

Some back story: we have just immigrated from a shithole country to a great first world country (in Feb, just before lockdown). Five years ago we went through an expensive legal battle to have SS live with us for high school and he finished high school at the end of 2019. He was included in our permanent resident visas for our new country.

Over the December holidays he was meant to spend time with his mom and brother and come back to us in January. We had been getting ready to move, selling our house and our stuff and packing the rest. He decided days before Christmas that he would come to us on Christmas Day. He came on Christmas Eve. We told him that we were going to his grandparents for dinner at 4pm and to meet us there. He was dropped at our house at 6pm and when he called we didn’t answer because we were having dinner and didn’t hear our phones. He was sitting in the dark when we got home. We asked why he didn’t come to dinner and he said he didn’t know we were going to be that long.

He and his mom start a huge fight with his dad on Christmas Day because he wasn’t happy with his gifts (partly because we are in the middle of getting ready to immigrate and because he only told us two days before that he would be there for Christmas). The fight makes my husband cry and ruins Christmas.

He goes back to his mom. We spend a weekend with him before we leave the country. He asked to stay behind until June for his brother’s birthday. It suited us because we didn’t know when we were going to find work and would be living on our savings until we did.

We got him on a repatriation flight last week. He is currently in a hotel in quarantine and gets out next week.

We moved to a bigger house a week ago so that there will be room for him. My husband has work but I haven’t found work yet. We will be supporting a family of five (I have two young kids with my husband) on one salary, and I am dreading feeding a 19 year old. I’m just dreading the whole thing, not being able to walk from the shower to my room in my towel because SS is there, a miserable lump on the sofa, eating all our food and complaining about us not buying him whatever he wants.