Living a Lie

simplistic and heartfelt. I think anyone who has lost a loved one could relate. your choice of language and structure really lends itself to the content.

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i like this poem because it’s very easy for me to put myself in the narrator’s (very sad) shoes. you convey the loss of a partner (i believe) very well, which i like. there’s no wondering about what this poem is about, which is the sign of a well written poem! my only suggestion would be to alter the flow. i think consistent punctuation, rather than just toward the beginning, would aid this because it provides structure for the poem. i would also alter the length of your sentences, the length of them doesn’t allow for a consistent flow. overall though, good job!

This poem created a story in my head that made me both sad and curious. I like the spacing of the poem and it looks like it feels— spaced out, reflective, and perhaps unraveling.

Thanks for sharing!

The point where the reality is defined beautifully connects the start to the end.

Shit this killed me. This is why I love good poetry. So much emotion and depth conveyed in short story format. Really enjoyed this read, thank you.

I've never been in a relationship but I felt this. It hurts, its raw, and I hope I can love someone like this one day. Excellent job.

I really loved this. I love how simple it is and yet very emotional. I can actually feel the sadness the writer trying to convey. I love how you say the skeletons in your closet are your company at night. I can so relate to that. When I am depressed all I can think is the wrongs I did. And that's why this is my favorite line.

I love this. I really, really love it...and it took me back to times in my life when I've found myself alone.

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10/10 mate, good work!

I liked how you build up the 3 specific places you hope to see your person but do not. I would have liked a bit more show and less direct. The stanzas all felt very direct, like a casual conversation. It does seem from your positive reviews that people do actually respond well to the simplicity you showcase, I just think you'd add a little new powerful layer to inject some imagery or intensity to the places they no longer are, and the shocking contrast to your present reality.

Keep writing.

Very tangible and I could easily relate. I’m not a pro writer but my inclination would be to echo the beginning with the end. Start with something like “so is this my reality?” Good stuff.

This reflective piece explored a really complex idea of grief as reminiscent and almost nostalgic which I enjoy!

This really touches home. Great job, really paints a picture for the reader. :) My only feedback would be not to switch between 4 lines and 3 lines, but that's probably just personal preference really.

I generally gravitate toward "more structure", but honestly, I was so submerged into the narrative of grief that I didnt even bother counting the syllables because what you presented is, simply put, amazing.

Yeah, another comment said I should adjust my line lengths so as that happens I assume it will shift my stanza lengths too. Thank you for the feedback!!

This... Wow. I'm not sure if the narrator of this poem is suffering the aftermath of the loss of a partner or if they never had one to begin with, but the feelings of loneliness captured by your words is truly moving. I enjoyed reading and I thought it had a good flow, but I do agree to a certain extent with the other commenters here: consistent punctuation throughout or, and this is likely where my opinion differs, no punctuation at all. Very good read though, despite it making me quite sad.

If this comes off as rude I am incredibly sorry, but if you would be okay with me turning this into a song I would be incredibly happy. Again, I am so sorry if this is a rude thing to ask, but I would love this chance.

This is so sad. You can feel the misery and the longing of the person who escapes into a fantasy where they are loved. And I like that there isn’t much punctuation; it makes it feel more sad, and as though the person is actually talking or thinking aloud. The last stanza really ends it well.

This is epic. Felt each emotion in each word. 10/10.

Oh my. Towards the end it just made me go slow and read every word slowly, carefully so that I could hear it. It was beautiful. It is very simple and just flowed. Felt effortless.