Together for 5 years, ended in 1 day
Feeling pretty numb to everything, like it's a bad dream that I'll wake up from. Can't sleep, can't eat, feels like my whole world was turned upside down.
Lived together for 4 years, supposed to move into a new house we picked out together to rent next Monday - except this Friday she's packing as much as she can fit into her car and driving ,12 hours away for good. I've cried a lot and tried to talk to her and she just gets angry - I get it, I keep saying the same things and asking the same questions. I just don't know what else to do.
I love and care about her so much and she just hasn't been feeling happy and I had no idea. I wish I could've done something different to avoid this. I thought we would get married in the future. Now I have to move into a house that we picked together alone, a house she's been decorating and gardening and preparing her crafting room at for the past 20 days. I don't get it.
This sucks, I miss sharing my life with her. I just want to show her funny memes and videos and watch a movie together.
Posted Jul 22, 2020, 10:52 PM UTC
Yeah this phase of the separation is always the most difficult, and most tormenting. Confusion, anxiety, despair are all emotions that become part of daily life.
Depending on what you’re ready for would define what advice you need. Typically if you want to move on as quickly as possible the recommendations are:
Delete social media
Hit the gym
Get a lawyer
Practice no contact
I wouldn’t recommend moving into the house you picked out with her as I believe that will prolong your suffering and prevent you from moving on.
Sounds like you want to make things work which is what most people want and is totally normal. I’d allow yourself some time to do that, but if possible give yourself a time frame and maybe a limit of how long or how many times you are willing to try.
If you’re not making progress and getting denied by your ex, after your set amount of time I would shift to focusing on moving on and bettering yourself.
Goodluck.
Unfortunately the lease is already signed in my name. I paid for everything the past 4 years and supported her as much as possible while she went back to school to start a career. I wish I could cancel and find somewhere else, maybe in a year.
Well I guess just make the best of it and do your best to make it your space. If you can’t stand it, you could always try to find someone to sublease.
I’ve heard of people getting out of lease agreements due to covid-19 issues by Force Majeure (Act of God Clause). That’s likely a major headache youd have to deal with but it might be an option!
Good luck either way, I’m going through a similar breakup (3 years) while I helped support my ex financially and emotionally while they were going through a difficult time. It’s really hard to let go after so much investment.
A friend told me there’s a saying in poker/gambling “Don’t throw good money after a bad hand.” Meaning you don’t want to invest more effort, time, money, energy on something you already have spent that on when it’s no good anymore.
Goodluck