I have many sexual fantasies but only one that has caused me problems. I love to be taken advantage of and having women spend my money. I have given a little here and there but once I let a girl take a few thousand. It was an awesome feeling, but it really wrecked me financially. I still have the craving but I want it to stop. Where does a fanatasy like this stem from? Is there a way to make this overwhelming desire stop?
Posted Jun 13, 2011, 8:36 PM UTC
There are a lot of women lurking around on places like FetLife and Collarme looking for people like you to take advantage of. I think you should take a lot of efforts to protect yourself, and maybe only play out this fantasy in a safe setting (someone you know and trust; possibly an agreement that she discreetly returns the money afterwards?)
maybe i can find a redditor :)
Oh I know you could find a redditor willing to spend your money for you. Hello, my name is TailessKat....
I second the recommendation of seeing a therapist as it seems a dangerous fantasy to deal with.
Just a crazy idea... can you separate some money for you to spend and then the rest never touch it and let someone else spend that money? Would that work?
Are there other submissive aspects to your fantasies? Would you be good with a long term relationship with a woman that just took control of your money and maybe some female domination...and reminders that she has control of themoney? That seems to me like it would give the best of both worlds.
AFAIK, it's difficult, if not impossible, to make fantasies stop, but you can control how you manage them. I would suggest seeing a therapist - the Kink Aware Professionals list is a good place to start.
Edit: in the meantime, maybe you can take a page from those of us who have rape fantasies and try to play it out in a controlled way with a partner that you trust. Like, you give her $100 or whatever you can afford to spend and then she comes home and talks about how she "took advantage" of your generosity. I think the key is finding a trustrowrthy partner to do that with. Would that help scratch the itch?
FWIW, I think this stems from a similar place as a lot of women's rape fantasies. Women are taught that a lot of their worth comes from their attractiveness as sex partners but that they're supposed to be sparing with who they share that with. Men are similarly taught that their values come from their ability to be "providers" and, again, are cautioned against letting women use them for their money. Both fantasies give us a way to subvert that teaching while also feeling like we're valuable in this way we're supposed to be.