I'm so grateful to this community and to God

Hey guys,

this is more of a personal journal for me so I can come back and check this for motivation and how I was genuinely feeling on the day. Firstly I would like start by saying as all of us are on this Subreddit we are all one, we are all aspiring to be the best version of ourselves without a doubt; through sweat, mental fatigue and much more, everyone's situation is different. Just super grateful to finding this Subreddit and this community, amazing in all ways possible.

For most of us PMO is the reason we fail time and time again, we hurt ourselves, we blame ourselves, we hate ourselves but over time we learn and through experiences of others and through ourselves we get better and learn to love and accept ourselves through gradual progress; because practice makes progress not perfect. For me I discovered Porn from 11 years old and pretty much abused it into my early high school years. I am going to try to keep this short since my sleep schedule is abit messed and i'm very tired right now. Years on end abused PMO, Cigarettes, Marijuana and Alcohol and some other shit. I never realised the dark side of why in school I used to feel like shit, why my complete personality did a U turn, why I feel like crying in a corner by myself, why I continuously used to look down at the ground as if I am constantly pitying myself as I went about my school days and life. Such pain brothers, you see my family claims to be religious thus they try integrating their strict beliefs and ways as to how you should approach in life; when in reality it was more them passing on their hopes that they could not achieve in their life into mine and trying to force that upon myself. Psychological development is far too important during upbringing and mine felt pretty trashed upon due to my father barely being a father figure; such a hollow relationship I wouldn't even consider him my father. No sense of understanding of what it means to have children just has kids because fuck it kinda thing. High school time could never really talk to him or even be able to open up to him.

Main thing is I blame my own stupidity and ignorance for turning towards porn and constant PMO and my abuse of Nicotine/Caffeine and Marijuana. This all in turn led me to getting huge social anxiety and anxiety in general, it was insane, I couldn't even feel good going for job interviews, gatherings, meeting old friends, like the world coming down on me. Such a horrible emotion, constantly trying to run away from..

Thank god I found this community, i'm doing so much better now and i'm continuing to get better. I've started working out consistently for 2 months, Meditation, Taking supplements to make up and continue a better lifestyle since my early days I was a scrawny unhealthy kid that abused his body; now is no more. I started daily journaling and it feels absolutely amazing, Bulking through mass gainers and whey protein, I am also happy to say I am a non smoker, no more weed, alcohol is more or less out the window just here and there and green tea which I intend on cutting out.

Abstinence made me feel so good, i'm definitely feeling good, I love myself so much more, i'm doing good, doing my daily things that I gotta do, working out, stock trading, learning about investing, Learning my Japanese/Kanji, Theory test since I procrastinated so hard, Job interviews, looking after myself.

It's all because of NoFap/SR and reading so many motivational posts about people that give me more energy, it's time to change brothers, stay strong for all you out there struggling; I struggled so hard and even now im struggling but Im gonna keep smiling and keep them tears flowing because it's nice to cry every now and again.

I just hope God gives me the strength to be able to stay consistent in this and to focus purely on my goals/passions and cancel out the noise even if it's my own family.

We all have our own sources of motivation one of mine is Anime and always continues to be a better version of myself through the morale of the story the author wishes to send across.

This should go without saying "Anything that moves you is Art" Feel that baby, breath it and accept it.

I'm done just typing this, could have added a lot more but it's fine, stay strong brothers you guys/gals all motivate me every day; love yall! <3