Exclusively Pumping: What I wish I'd known before I had a baby

You are amazing! I HATE pumping and the women who exclusively pump are troopers! I feel like pumping is more work than formula feeling and breastfeeding combined. Right now I’m pumping 2 times a day while LO is at work and it is my least favorite part of the day. Also, these are all great points!

This is a great post. At 11 weeks my baby started straight up refusing the breast, screaming when I put her to them, and in hindsight it may have been the silent reflux we later discovered. But I didn’t want to put her just on formula so I started pumping. That shit was such hard work and I don’t know how I did it every day til she was 7 months old (she never would take the breast again after 4 months which was devastating to me). I was pumping every 2-3 hours at first and then every 3-4. Time consuming, so time consuming. I am in awe at anybody who pumps for however long they do it because pumping sucks (hardy ha) and nobody as of yet has invented a pump that is goddamn good enough for the job.

I’m expecting my second baby now and honest to god the dread I have is that I might have to go down that road again. Im going to do all I can to BF exclusively and if somehow the new baby doesn’t BF successfully I might just quit and reach for the formula, because I don’t think I can stand pumping that much again - this time with a toddler around too!

To anybody currently pumping or anybody who has spent any length of time attached to a pump, you deserve a medal and you are amazing. No, really. That you put all that time and effort into such a hateful task shows that you are a good parent.

I’m only 16 days in, so I am probably totally naive here. But I don’t feel like EPing is taking away bonding time with my newborn, yet. I have her next to me on a boppy or on my lap napping while I pump and watch an episode of something dumb on Netflix. It’s great snuggle time and helps my letdown and production so far! I’m sure it’ll no longer be possible once she’s mobile though.

I also really like knowing exactly how much she is eating, and getting to sleep more. I pump twice at night, and my husband and I do shift sleeping. So we’re both getting long chunks of time “off” and good sleep. Even with bottle feeding, little one cluster feeds a bit and nursing would mean me being up every hour at night.

I EP for my first kiddo for two months! My two cents:

1. Not fucking worth the drain on my mental health. Holy shit. Will never EP again. (YMMV! : ) )

2. Sudafed helps dry things up faster when you’re ready to stop and prevents you from getting clogged ducts/mastitis unless you’re truly going cold turkey.

3. Become a pro at pumping and driving. Hands down my favorite time to pump! It’s efficient, relaxing, and I felt like I got more milk when I was focusing on other things.

Best of luck to anyone who does it! It’s a hard job but if you can make it work, more power to you!

Amazing advice!! I wish I had read something like this before my first. He came a bit early and just wasn’t strong enough to get anything from me (or stay awake long enough to). I exclusively pumped while still attempting to “teach” him how to breastfeed for 6 weeks before switching to formula. The whole process took about an hour (attempt breastfeed, pump, bottle feed) and I did it every two hours so I was just deteriorating mentally and physically by the time I made the decision to stop.

I think your first bit of advice about establishing your motive is so important. This was what finally gave me the confidence to switch to formula. I realized I was not bonding with baby and I was just dreading every moment of his infancy, wishing it all away. I was only doing it because “breast is best” was so engrained in my brain and I wanted it to work so bad. Turns out it just wasn’t for us!

I am in awe of anyone who does this for months!! You are actually superwomen.

I exclusively pumped for a year for my twins. If I could go back I'd have quit at 6 months or earlier. You're 100% right about missing out on binding time.

I pumped every time they ate, so about every 2 1/2 hours for a long time, then had to put it in bottles or store it, clean everything, and get it set up for next pump. Managing frozen milk and sanitizing at nights on top of that was basically a part time job.

Theyre 2 now and you see no difference between them and previously formula fed babies. They say 2oz a day gives them the immune boost. I wish I spent more time sitting on the couch just cuddling and playing with them but it is what it is. 🤷‍♀️

As an exclusive pumper for my first (2 years) and planning on EPing again for the one I am carrying now, I appreciate the post for adding some light on EPing though I do disagree with a few of the statements and would like to add some of my thoughts and experience.

I personally found EPing worlds easier than direct nursing. We, like many, tried direct nursing first. My son unfortunately was hospitalized around 2 weeks due to loss of greater than 15% birth weight and we discovered he was slow starving on my breastmilk. Our pediatrician had us pumping to determine how much I was making, where we found I was making less than half of his daily needs. It didn't matter how often we fed, I simply wasn't enough. From that point, we never went back to direct nursing and instead focused on providing what breastmilk we could with the pump and supplemented with forumla. Eventually, my body caught up. But as a family we were in a rhythm and we stayed that way.

With my personal experience and the shared information in my support groups, these are the most important things to me:

-It really is important to find both the right pump for you (concerning the mothers preference on suction levels) but also finding a pump that is meant to be used for EP demands. I initially had my pump in style advance and it was a horrible choice for an EP breastfeesing style, as the motor was not meant for the demand I had.

-Cleaning pump parts/flanges/bottles aren't much of a deal. Especially with an active partner. My husband and I were a breastmilk feeding machine together. We made the decision to have multiple sets of pump pieces, and they were cleaned simultaneously with the bottles. I personally can't relate to the idea of the cleaning being tedious or exhausting as it was as simply as rinse, place in basket for dishwasher, then sanitize with boiling water. We did this exact process for the bottles, and it wasn't a problem to add the pump parts. A popular "hack" some EPing moms have though are to have the single set of pump parts, and place them after use in a ziplock baggie and place in the fridge to keep it safe for next pump. I personally preferred washing at each use, so we had 6 sets which at the most resulted in 2 washing per day, though it was easily split between hubby and I.

-As for bonding, I found a much greater bond with my baby by pumping instead. Direct nursing was stressful for both me and baby. He was constantly crying, repeatedly coming off latch, and never satisfied even after a good feeding session. It was mental anguish for me. Pumping was great, because while pumping I often sat in our recliner with him propped up on my knees, and he was commonly content with playing with the hoses or with me just holding him while he slept to the chuuuf chuuuf chuuf of the pump. Additionally, it allowed the wonderful bonding time of feeding to be afforded to BOTH me and my husband. Which I loved, and so did my husband.

-As for travel, I never went out with cleaning supplies for my pump. I only did cleaning at home. Once I established my supply level that worked for us, well then pumping was awesome because you set your own schedule based off of your supply desire. I was a Just-Enougher. No bonus milk going to the freezer for us. I was barely one feed, then eventually 1 day, then a few days ahead in supply for the fridge. But there were no baby cues on demand for boob juice forcing me to hook up. I wanted to pump every 6 hours because that is what worked for us, so thats what I did. It was super easy to schedule brunch or lunch with the ladies, or date night, or whatever I wanted because I knew my body well and knew I'd be very comfortable for 6 hours. And if I needed to go an extra hour or two, that was okay occasionally too. I'm military and had to bring my pump and bag to work, and the hardest part was just getting a proper room for my privacy. The pumping was never the problem.

-As for clogs and mastitis....many women do not experience these as EPers. And clogs do not mean you will get mastitis. I never got mastitis, but did get an occasional clog. Though several friends never experienced clogs of any sort. Recent research is showing several pumps (not just the hospital grade) are just as effective or more effective at properly emptying the boob juice.

For me, the biggest problem with EPing has to do with the stigma- by far!

I've been shamed by women who have had the audacity to tell me I wasn't really breastfeeding, or people call out when I was bottlefeeding breastmilk "breast is best!" Because they were ignorant and rude, and there is a HUGE amount of lactation consults spreading massive misinformation about pumping (ex: false statements such as- pumping forces unnatural milk levels, pumping prevents milk, pumping causes over production, pumping will get you hospitalized with mastitis, pumping will cause permanent damage to nipples, etc).

So I was elated to see a positive post concerning EPing with some of the stigmas explained. I know we reflect different on some parts of the experience, but there can be lots of comfort with EPing (not everyone shares the feeling that EP has taken anything from them). You brought up a fantastic point about getting those flanges fit. The most important part of an EPing journy! You definitely can't be comfortable if you don't have the right sizes. But I have also seen friends who have felt some of the similar mental stress youve expressed over pumping, and that has to be a huge toll on those who experience it. In our group, we push Fed is Best, add some breastmilk if you can, but if you cant- you're still feeding your baby.

Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts, I appreciated being able to comment on it as well.

I did it for a year and I regret it. I missed out on so much. Time I could have been cuddling my baby, sleeping, or taking time for myself that i spent pumping or cleaning pump parts is time I will never get back. In the beginning I was pumping for 30 minutes every 2 hours. Thats 6 hours a day that doesn't include the time to actually feed the baby, burp baby, and wash all the stuff.

If you leave the house for an extended period of time, you will need both your pump, a way to clean the pump, and all of the gear for feeding your baby.

Having a manual pump and a water bottle to rinse it off helps a lot in this area. Yeah, manuals take longer but it takes a lot less space than an electric pump.

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Former exclusive pumper here. Yes. To all of it!

I plan on exclusively pumping so I appreciate your post!

Wow yes. This is honestly where I’m headed— baby latches but doesn’t get hardly anything out, so it’s nurse-pump-bottle every two hours. I keep waiting for some miracle moment where he just gets it, but I don’t have my hopes up. I want to keep nursing him, but it’s such a job to do all of it, especially at night.

So true. I EPed for 8 months because of daughter’s high arched palate. She’s older now and I’ve had almost three months off the pump. Thinking about it now, it’s almost traumatic. Like basically being assaulted 4-10 times a day. No bath towel was ever soft enough for what pumping did to my nipples.

Also adding, get doubled sets so you can pump from both breasts at once. Definitely buy extra sets to help with cleaning.

Replace soft parts every 3 months.

Get a really good nipple cream.

Way to go mama! I pumped for 13 months, and while it was hard and it sucked, I'm proud of myself. Joining the EP Facebook group was the best decision I ever made. Unfortunately, I joined late, after 12 weeks, and hadn't set up my supply enough. My biggest tip for anyone who pumps - pump for as long as you can. Almost everything you read will say 15-20 minutes. NO. This is for breastfeeding moms who want to up their supply. You need to do at least 30 minutes, and especially in the beginning up to 45. Remember, a baby would be eating a lot and frequently, so trick your boobs into thinking you have a very hungry baby (of course, does not apply to oversuppliers!)

6. Make sure you mental health is staying strong while EPing.

Mine did not, quitting pumping was the best damn thing ever, and I wished I would have done it sooner. Unfortunately, the (possibly overstated) benefits of breast milk kept me hooked to the pump, which was also sucking away my good mental health along with the milk. Was of course put there by circumstance, twins - premature, one couldn't latch yada yada

Thank you for posting something so thorough and helpful.

Breastfeeding was a negative experience for me because despite reading, support groups, two lactation consultants, gizmos, guzzling water by the gallon, a Breast Friend and a Spectra, I just wasn’t producing much. So I pumped all the time. The middle of the night pump crushed me. I was so tired and I didn’t want to wake to pump but I was terrified of missing the window and losing the feed entirely.

The exclusive pumpers aren’t as represented in discussions that seem to be largely you’re nursing or you’re not. If I could scream it from the rooftops I would - do what works for you and the baby. That’s all. Ignore the expectation and perception. That may include pumping every drop, not pumping at all or weaning earlier than you expected.

EP is the worst of both worlds and I hated it. But it was free and fed my kid, so whatcha gonna do? Between my flat pancake nipples and societal pressure to feed breast milk, I did EP for a loooong time. When I had Kid 2 there was no shame in my formula game. I don't think the pump ever really came out for her. She was a bit better at nursing though, so that helped.

I made the choice to EP and supplement my LO because she was an early bird who needed a little extra. I had gone into BF with the intention to try, but if it wasn’t gonna work then I didn’t want to stress myself out about it. While it sucks to be tied to a pump every couple hours (MOTN sucks!!!) I’m grateful my husband can bond with her over feedings and she took to the bottle easily.

I’m only 16 days into this parenting thing so I’m definitely in need of some support groups and the like. Thanks for writing this post!