Source
r/OCPoetry•
ModernDayNightingale

Identity [Trigger Warning]

[Trigger Warning - Domestic Violence]

The complexities of a lifelong loathing

Countered by a recollection,

Engrained hatred

Halted by a stranger's memorial.

How easily your reality waivers 

When you want so badly for something to be true;

For half the rungs of your spiraling DNA ladder

To be anything but rotten and broken and bad.

Why did you believe her so easily

When she said he gave the best hugs

With the same arms he used to choke 

A hugely pregnant woman.

You know you have his hair, his height, his nose

You're stopped and told so.

Followed by speed walking to your car 

Catching your breath, 

Clutching your chest,

Looking in the mirror,

Trying to see her instead.

What a waste

To live three quarters of a century 

Feeling this empty.

1.https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ihq29n/narcissus/g31vjf7?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

2.https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ihmj27/life_is_what_happens_to_you_while_youre_busy/g31wbrr?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

Posted Aug 27, 2020, 7:12 PM UTC

102
sorrimnitsua•

This poem feels incredibly powerful from beginning to end. The idea that the sins of our fathers can become ours as well is as old as time itself and you bring to life that fear in this piece so well. I can feel the urgency and the panic in your voice as you desperately search for something else in yourself. Beautifully done.

4
Tsar343•

Very powerful, I too struggle with the idea that we are bound by our genetics to make the horrible mistakes of our family. For half the rungs of your spiraling DNA ladder, To be anything but rotten and broken and bad, was the best, the visual of a DNA strand somehow being rotten really stuck with me. I hope you know that if you can make this kind of beautiful poetry then clearly you are stronger than your trauma. My one note would be too maybe use some more varied punctuation for pacing, otherwise I hope you keep creating.

2