I don't have any feminine hobbies. Literally any hobby I ever had was 90% guys and I was always super into it to the point of autism. I'm very shy around strangers not in a sense that I can't talk but I'm afraid I'll scare them or offend them. I am very tall so people are kinda wary of me when I meet them as a stranger so that energy rubs off on me and I get wary of them...
Posted Sep 3, 2020, 9:34 PM UTC
What are those hobbies?
I cycle through a lot of stuff, sometimes I'm into something heavily for a few years before dropping it and picking up something else. Did 2 years of rowing as a teen, 1 year kickboxing, 6 as a gym rat. Also competitive video games like dota, then moved on to LoL then Hearthstone and currently WoW which is the most social out of them all.
Rowing? There are so many women at the rowing clubs I've been to. They usually outnumber men.
Kickboxing is pretty popular with women where I live. So is gym-ratting.
I know plenty of women who are into kickboxing, rowing, and WoW.
https://quanticfoundry.com/2017/01/19/female-gamers-by-genre/
~30% players of high fantasy MMO, japanese RPGs and western RPGs are females.
Pro tip: Try to learn what women in your game usually play as. In Final Fantasy 14, as an example, it's easier to find women playing Au'ra males than Miqo'te females. Reason for that? Nekomimi is a common male fetish, and Au'ra males are hot.
We know how to locate eachother.
Have you tried learning how to play guitar? Playing the guitar is a masculine activity that also can be very social if you can play and sing for people.
Generally, playing music is great because it's a nice creative hobby and you can easily share it with others, but I bristle at the notion that it's solely a masculine activity. Lots of women play the guitar, or other instruments, and honestly this kind of attitude is a major deterrent to more women picking it up as a hobby - same as how identifying gaming as a masculine hobby discourages women from getting into it. I don't think you mean to be gate-keeping here, but even subtle attitudes can have a big impact on the people you interact with.
Sorry I didn't mean it like that. Most of the folk/acoustic artists that I like have been male and most of the people that I've seen play guitar for others at campfires etc. have been male which is why I'm biased towards believing guitar playing is masculine activity but there are many awesome women guitarists out there who make amazing music.
My husband is a rower, huge gym rat (he met two of his exes at the gym) and avid wow player! Like literally plays all week and his guild goes for world first and shit. Your hobbies in no way disqualify you from meeting women you’ll just need to be sure to also go places where you can meet women and once you get a gf introduce her to your hobbies and learn some of hers and come up with some new hobbies you can both enjoy. My husband got me a wow account to make my own character and play and he built a home gym so I can work out with him too. I love learning about his hobbies and joining him and it’s nice that I can do my own thing and he’ll be busy with his hobbies
like dota, then moved on to LoL
There's your mistake
Don't worry bro I get ya, your hobbies are masculine in nature and you've got a lot of strong arguments which could back that up.
Hey dude. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time.
What exactly are you looking for? Hobby advice? Shyness? Advice on socializing as a big scary dude?
How do I meet women like me? How do I meet women without being that guy that goes to dancing class just to meet women?
You have to expand yourself. You’re right that you shouldn’t go do things just to meet women. Instead, come up with things that aren’t so “hyper masculine” that you would like to do. It’s one thing to go to dance class to perv on girls. It’s another thing to go to dance class because you think it might be fun and you’re not opposed to meeting girls there.
Yup. As long as the hobby comes first and the girls come second then you'll be fine regardless of which hobby it is
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Some women are into masculine hobbies! It’s obviously less common but there’s always a few. And as for being scary, a friendly smile or cracking a lighthearted joke can go a long way to lighten a mood and make friends. ❤️
What advice are you looking for ? You didn’t specify
I think you should stick to the hobbies you enjoy. Maybe try a new one that interests you personally to add to the mix.
It sounds like you can work on your self confidence. Are there activities you could do within your own hobbies that would allow you to increase confidence in yourself and get more exposure to chatting w/strangers?
Talking to strangers is a skill...if you flex that muscle and try it, it will grow. Talk about the weather and boring inoffensive things to strangers. Ask them how they are doing and be genuinely interested. Usually pays off
I wouldn’t say WoW or gaming is hyper masculine. In fact, I play WoW (not recently because BFA is annoying the hell out of me - currently waiting for shadowlands). I also played Hearthstone for a good bit. Even though I hate league, I’d say that’s a pretty gender neutral game. The people I met in high school (and even now in college) play League like it’s their religion. In general, I think you might want to just expand what games you play where there are open mics. I know each of those games don’t really have open mic (besides wow, but in the past nine months of me playing I haven’t ever heard/used it), so maybe look into playing a game like Overwatch (even though the game is a bit broken as I’m told)! I can’t really think of any games off the top of my head that might be more feminine that you’d enjoy unless you like RPGs like Stardew Valley. I’ve seen a mixture of both genders play the game and it has even led to a few marriages (very cute!). Slime rancher is fun too, more on the cutesy side of gaming for sure. Though, it’s only a two player game if you decide to play with someone and I doubt its an online game. I guess another game that’s pretty gender neutral is Farm Together. You can make a big farm with your friends and invite them (only when you’re online though) and you can use voice chat. I’ve people only join your farm when you have the big bucks, but it’s still worth a shot if you want to meet some people on other farms and have a game that’s not really directed at one gender.
I guess other hobbies I have that you might want to try out (like some other people said) is getting into something creative. I’ve recently taken up a drawing class (and oh my god, that shit is HARD), but it’s really interesting. I haven’t found the motivation for it recently, but I used to write as well. Right now though, I currently sing a lot and play the ukulele. If you don’t want to dive into playing an instrument like a guitar or piano (because those are pretty difficult as I’m currently learning how to play them), I’d give the ukulele a shot. I was given my first ukulele when I was 16 (now 19) and I’ve practiced so much that I’ve gotten to the point where I can pick it right back up after a few months of not playing it. Writing can be really fun, especially when you’re writing about something satirical. You could easily make fun of ukulele girls (which is a popular topic to poke fun at - and this is coming from a ukulele girl). I can’t really think of anything else, but I’ll try to think of some more (:
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Consider adopting a small dog from a shelter. Take your new dog out to local coffee shops and hiking trails. Dogs have a way of breaking the ice and putting people around you at ease. I think you’d be surprised to find out how many people will want to get to know you and your dog
I was walking my sister's dog and I noticed this. It's also nice cos other dog walkers wanna talk to you and its very casual.
Keep in mind dogs are a lot of responsibility though. I don’t know how I feel about people recommending getting a whole ass dog to help you get women... please make sure you do all your research and that you have the money time and space for whatever dog you choose
Not to mention, a dog would definitely help with loneliness if you’ve been struggling with that! It can not only help you make friends, but also be one.
Some shelters also look for people who take their dogs for a walk.
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