Oh the lonely road
Oh the lonely road - the lonely road that twists and turns and changes again and again like a snake shedding skin, the road that once you are on there is no end, the road that unfolds before you and folds behind you. I ask a monk what he thinks of this lonely road- he sees no road. This man of monkish nature with a robe of autumn amber - I would never fit this robe- the road turns to stairs and you climb and climb yet of your work there is nothing to behold except worn shoes in a closest of worry. Hurry, hurry! The road is calling, but if I stop the road stops crawling.
Posted Sep 4, 2020, 1:00 AM UTC
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I'm very intrigued by the idea that the monk sees no road, and I would love that idea to be expanded. Why doesn't he see the road? What's different between him and the narrator? Do I see the road?
I guess I don't quite understand what the road means or symbolizes in this poem (which is totally fine!), but I wish there were more clues as to the nature of this lonely road.
A few small impressions: I feel like "man of monkish nature" flows a bit awkwardly. Maybe there's a better word to desribe the monk. Ascetic? Hermit? Holy man? I like the thought of "I would never fit this robe". It emphasizes this idea that the monk is a character very different from the narrator, and I love how you took this abstract idea and put it into a breezy passing thought that feels so concrete. It's very symbolic. I also like the imagery of the road turning to stairs. Again, not quite sure what it all means, but I love the picture you're painting.
Thanks for the comment! I’ll answer as best I can, to me the road is life ( whatever the reader most connects with it as it what is right for them imo) I’m only a kid (ish) and life looks dogshit boring as of right now so the road is life and all it’s grinding. The monk sees no road just because I envision monks walk on more of a trail that has already been laid out. Maybe I should’ve mentioned that. All in all , thanks for the comment.