Teach me how to make excuses
I have been trying to make my life more peaceful by means of using excuses when the straightforward approach would not cause a solution and only pisses people off.
Please teach me how to make valid excuses without people catching on. I have been able to slightly lately but they generally look at me and size me up to see if I am lying to them. One guy said, "are you serious or do you just not want to help me?" I honestly really didn't want to help him as I had my own project so I told him, "I'm really not sure how that works. Sorry buddy."
I'm putting this in r/seduction because I feel this is the best place to develop social skills even if it isn't a seduction technique.
Posted Jul 14, 2011, 5:46 PM UTC
316
What difference would it make?
I used to work for a manager who was a real asshole. He used to go around singing a little ditty to the tune of "if you're happy and you know it." The lyrics were one phrase, repeated over and over, "I'd really like to help you but I won't." What an asshole.
At the next site (same company) I worked for a boss who liked to make us practice saying no, directly to his face, every morning. We actually took a seminar in how to control customers in a sales situation. One of the lessons is the power of just saying no, and nothing else. The customer says, "can I get this computer for $500 less?" and you say no and nothing else, in a flat, nonconfrontational tone. No prevarications, no explanations. You just stand there and say nothing, putting the conversational burden back on the other guy. Stare at each other for minutes, if necessary. Whoever says something first, loses.
You don't owe people explanations. Say no and own it. You don't need excuses, you just need to man up and flatly refuse. If you make excuses, people know it, and try to break you.
I understand your point of view. However I am generally a person who answers straightforward and it causes a lot of problems. In fact sometimes it would get me fired.
I am just looking for better ways of doing it to make conversations and situations much more smooth. For instance if I don't care if I am right or not I would like to find ways of getting out of it and moving onto a new topic. I'm not sure if I am describing this well enough.
Why not a simple, "I'm very busy right now with abc."
And just have a plausible ABC in mind.
That would be making an excuse... hense why I'm asking how to think of a plausible one. That is the problem.
Just think of something you rather be doing with your time and say that. In your OP you said:
couldn't you have just told him you were busy with your own project?