Re-Edit of Chapter 1 from my book - Quietus [3885]

I've re-edited this chapter and am hoping it has improved from where it was.

Here are my critiques:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/j57lb4/3419_a_time_capsule/

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/j621it/4124_every_hill_every_spreading_tree/

Here is my story(this has replaced the old link I'll go and say that in my prior post):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1io63HXNxnFztCyXnVRl9PH3mfu14jsggYkJ4tWwV1qo/edit

Main concerns: how are the characters, do you understand their goals and why it matters, is there tension, are the descriptions too much and the prose too purple?