Lawyer says AFL hub dry spell led to Jesse Hogan's 'lapse in judgement'
theage.com.au/sport/afl/lawyer-says-afl-hub-d...
theage.com.auPosted Oct 13, 2020, 3:34 AM UTC
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theage.com.auBegs the question - where were the AFL sanctioned sex workers for players in the hub? What’s even the point of the AFLPA if they can’t get the basic needs of players met in the hub?
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With the budget constraints this year the players would be lucky to get one used blow up doll per team
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Ah yes the NRL model
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No they said blow up doll not a dog.
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[deleted]
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If I had an AFL hub, there would be black jack... aaand hookers.
In fact... forget the AFL hub.
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They get them from the sex farm for sex hookers.
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TIL my “basic needs” are not being met.
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Best you give Jesse’s lawyer a call then
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Was sex work allowed in the hub states during the season? It's been banned in Victoria since march.
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Footy was banned here too. I have no idea.
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“He fell into a trap because of the attraction to the young lady...” - his lawyer. Another classic example of blaming women for a man’s mistake (I’m male). Not his fault he couldn’t keep it in his pants aye ;)
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But she showed him her ankles and promised to call him Freo's Premier Forward and Matt Taberner a Virgin Dog.
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Yep. I surprised he didn’t comment on what she was wearing.
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“Oh no, I slipped and fell right into her vagina. How on earth could this happen?”
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Anyone who calls women “females” like low rent David Attenborough or some shit is bad news.
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Behaves like an adolecent but is paid like an adult.
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If Jesse Hogan goes mad after only a few months, then TIL I have excellent self control
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I'm a fucking monk over here.
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Look at you show-offs still counting.
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The ass was fat your honour
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😏👉👉
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The blame really should fall on his teammates, they're supposed to help a bro out in his time of need
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ZacDawson_NickRiewoldt.png
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Nick Dal Santo?
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He was helping himself from memory
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Mate if that isn't the funniest article I've read this year I don't know what is.
We've all been there, well maybe not but we can imagine what it would be like.
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Breaking quarantine rules is no joke, but I'll be damned if “hadn’t been with any females in months” isn't an extremely relatable reason.
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My thoughts exactly
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Very candid from his lawyer lol
Can relate to Jesse’s dry spell
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Your honour, he simply has a sickness for the thickness.
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So lack of sexy time can drive you to risk breaking rules
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Every single person in Victoria learnt this 2 months ago
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If QLD was under a Bob Katter Workers Republic, then pre-marital sex would be illegal and this wouldn't have happened.
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Nah mate that could only happen after the crocs are sorted out. 1 farmer gets slaughtered EVERY 3 MONTHS in FNQ!
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"Your honour, sure my client knowingly endangered people's lives with blatantly stupid and selfish actions which could have potentially set back the months-long, state-wide efforts to curtail a deadly disease, which millions of people have been sacrificing for...
But in his defence, she was hot and he was horny. Here's some pics."
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"The Dees made him do it."
"How can that be? Mr. Hogan no longer plays for that club."
"Did I say the Dees? I meant dees nuts, you honour."
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Sustained.
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THEY DID IT ON THEIR OWN
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If it sustains for more than two hours, seek medical attention.
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Let he who didn’t cave into the puss throw the first stone.
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Fucking this. Spot on!
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The rest of you lawyers start thinking up a better excuse for this funky player; I dunno, something along the line of say... "a dry spell", only more proactive.
...
So, "dry spell" okay with everybody?
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Excuse me but "proactive" and "paradigm"... Aren't they just words that dumb people use to sound important?
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Good bloke Jesse, not letting her pissy drive.
Why cant this be the narrative...
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TIL a few months is a dry spell
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I must be on a drought then
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I don't know what the going rates are, but $8,000 for a game of hide the pickle seems a bit expensive.
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I’m not a fan of players breaking the law because they’re role modes however this is a fucking amazing case.
This lawyer must be just losing it at jesses defence
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“How do you plead Mr Hogan?”
“Horny, your honour”
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Go to horny jail bonk
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Okay this is the most ridiculous defence I have ever heard. It’s the bullshit excuse we all expected to be the truth, but like. I don’t think anyone expected him to be dumb enough to actually use it...
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The old “blue balls ” defence.
Your honour, my client desperately needed to bust a nut, I'm sure the court can understand that.
Something something virign dog
If ya get a goodin son, ya got it good....
So hang onto her with both ya hands, dont ever let her go!
....Well thanks now all i can picture is his balls