So it's my birthday

First time posting , Im 23 today and I feel lost af. I have friends and my family is overall okay. But I feel like I've been on my own during this mental health path, even after my correct diagnos it seems like they still don't get it lol they pressure me a lot, to go study, to work out and just do things and it's so tough sometimes to explain them what I'm going through, why I don't want to do certain things, how certain things make me feel. I don't want them to think that they need to petty me, I'm just seeking understanding. Throughout my life I've made many mistakes and lied a lot as an excuse to get some attention. I take responsibility for doing some crazy stuff lol but now when I'm older and I promised myself not to use manipulation and lies to get people around me I find myself so lonely. It's like everyday battle with myself telling myself "no" because I know it's not the right decision but like shit is emptying my energy and soul. Like every day I'd realise more and more and sometimes it's gets heavy realising your own life I dunno. This sub opened a whole new world and I'm super greatful and thankful for all the personal stories and I truly appreciate it as it helped me a lot with another perspective and proportion... Just wanted to vent a little, I'm getting tired from all this ♥️