I’ve seen many people talk casually about how women get complimented a lot and men don’t. I’m a woman and I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever gotten a compliment in my life. Am I just absolutely terrible or do other women experience this too??
Posted Nov 12, 2020, 5:19 AM UTC
I try really, really hard. It's shallow, but I'm such an extrovert and attention whore that I try so hard to get compliments, and I get them all the time. Well, pre-covid when I used to leave my house I'd always get them. Anything from my purse or earrings to my figure and eyelashes.
I'm not ashamed of being shallow, if it makes me slightly happier in a dark world, I'm all for it. But if I go out in a new outfit or hairstyle and don't get a compliment, I'm bummed.
Not OP, and no judgment from me.
If I'm feeling especially cute, I try to make eye contact (which i hate) more, and to people watch more. Not everyone has the confidence or opportunity to give a compliment to a stranger whose hair they love, but it's likely you'll see them look for longer, or do a double take, etc.
I'm pretty awkward, but there's been many times (like 3-4 every time I go to a store, I think) where I want to compliment another woman on something but never get the opportunity to.
All of that to say that you're probably getting lots of attention and compliments, you just don't necessarily hear them. I'm sure you're absolutely killing it!
I absolutely agree on the giving compliments out to women. My mother (shallow, too) always told me that the best compliment a woman can get is a glance in the ladies room. But I full heartedly believe in telling a woman she looks amazing. It's never all that weird, unless you're in line at the store or something and have to be there for 10 minutes with them (I'm very awkward in long term situations).
I get compliments from other people, men and women and I also give them out. It's nice to brighten up someone's day.
Probably depends on the woman. And how much their felt depends on who they’re coming from
So, I'm a woman who's much taller and whiter and about a dozen other things than people in my area. I stick out, no matter what, all the time, everywhere I go.
I've also done a lot of jobs and traveling.
My experience is that a good portion of what pass for compliments are thinly-veiled sexual harassment from men who should know better. Even when they're really just compliments, they tend to come from men, who, I think, feel more comfortable in most environments changing or interrupting a situation in order to give a compliment.
This has happened much more frequently to me on days when I'm making eye contact with people and generally fairly relaxed and not super focused or stressed.
I think compliments between women are much more likely to be casual, sincere and not terribly memorable most of the time. I do my best to compliment any woman I interact with (sincerely- I refuse to lie for this or most reasons) just because it means so much more coming from someone who (probably) isn't trying to get something out of it.
I don't get compliments outside of my boyfriend and super rarely from friends. I guess every once in a rare while I did when my job involved interacting with 100s of people a week. However, even then, it was maybe twice a week. The more approachable girls got more compliments though.