Again, thank you so much! I will definitely be taking all of this into account as I edit. Sorry for making you spend so much time on this, and best luck with any projects you're working on. I never would have been able to come to a lot of these conclusions on my own!

I'm happy to continue the discussion. At the risk of making it look like a business presentation, I'm going to use bullet points to address the different points you raised.

* I like your idea of breaking up that first few paragraphs with some action. Whatever you add will naturally stretch that section out, but I think you're accomplished enough to find a good balance.
* It's great that you keep her motivation mysterious, but the mention of the pregnancy test put me on the wrong track. It's perfectly okay to misdirect the reader (likely required for a mystery). I definitely don't think you should rush the reveal.
* They're engaged? I see no hint of that at all, but at least I now understand the reason you mention the scents. Maybe it's the name "Hazel Love" that caused it, but I didn't understand that he was a womanizer. And for her to fall more in love with him every time she sees him when there is a history of infidelity is a bit odd. Perhaps that whole interaction needs a bit of wo

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad to have a response. Thank you so much for reading 1047 of my character rambling about her life, and for your amazing, in-depth response. Whenever you post anything on this sub, you can @ me in it and I'll read it, too. Your interpretation of Sadie is just what I hoped for, and your compliments on my prose have made my day.

I'm so sorry about the disabling of "copy," I've gotten into the habit of doing that for all my docs and I forget I even do it, sometimes. I totally agree with your entire critique.

I wrote up this long tangent to explain some things and ask more questions that you definitely don't have to respond to: 

Your biggest critique is one of the things I was worried about. I tried to make the prose fun to read so it would take away from the fact that she's just ranting about her life, but it's true...six paragraphs and absolutely nothing happens. There are four more chapters like this (similar length), although one has a lot of focus on dialogu

I liked it, and it's a fine start to a story. There's a lot of telling going on. I don't agree with the notion that \*everything\* should be shown, but you could improve this a lot by showing more. I'll expand on this in the sections below.

As an aside, you disabled copy in the document, and that makes it difficult to quote sections.

**Characters**

I think Sadie is likable enough. We get this interplay between her highbrow view of herself and her lineage with the obvious conflict that she has rather coldly resolved to commit murder at a party. Her distaste for Elliot's vulgar ways is a little ironic, given her intentions for the night. There's also a certain superficiality to her; the preoccupation with what to wear, pondering on how Sutton women behave, using "Darling" three times in a single sentence, etc.

The opening ***six*** paragraphs are all about telling us about Sadie. Six. The first action taken is at the start of paragraph seven, and is performed by someone else. And to 

Yes, I just tried to open your story and the link wasn't working for me.

Yes, my favourite Twilight Zone episode! I'm glad somebody noticed.

EDIT: Also, is it showing up like it's deleted for you, too? It's not deleted on my doc but the link isn't working here.

Is the title an intentional nod to The Monsters are Due on Maple Street?

[1047] The Monsters are Due on Carnaby Street - Chapter 1