20 years of antidepressants, am I myself?

Hey Fellow Anxiety Redditors!

I have been diagnosed with Social/General Anxiety since I was 10. I am 30 now and have been married for 5 years.

I have been on anti-depressents my entire life. Various kinds and dosages with Therapy. I had a few breaks in middle school when I wasn't on anything. That's when I had the most friends and fun, but still had anxiety.

I have conquered maybe 80% of my fears and anxiety inducing situations through exposure.

I still have some triggers, most of it is involving relationships, personal or work.

After some marriage issues, I have realized that I have no feelings, and my mind is fuzzy/cloudy.

I noticed I have felt like this for years and assumed it was just me being absent minded or busy. But lately I wonder if it's my meds?

The feeling is like my head is fuzzy and can't focus or I just zone out. Like a cloudy feeling.

I don't know what i feel like without medication.

I feel like my old self when I was younger when I drink or do weed.

My question is, has anyone ever stopped there Medication after years of progress? If so how did it make you feel? Do you feel like the meds masked your true personality? Was it worth it?

Honestly the only thing that has ever helped.my anxiety was Benzos but I am trying to stay away from them.

Note: I plan on talking to a Dr before I do anything, and I am in therapy.

TLDR; I have been in anti depressants for 20 years, I don't know what it feels like without them, anyone else have the same experience?