Source
r/amiugly•
dreen

21, female. I know I'm ugly, but what can I do to fix it?

Here are some pics, newest to oldest. All without makeup, I believe.

One Sept 2011

Two Sept 2011

Three May 2011

-- two and a half year gap --

Four November 2008

Five April 2007

I feel like I should mention that I am aware of the weight issue. I had been losing weight (almost 30 lbs) before I got sick, and the meds they put me on made me gain 80 lbs. I've lost 50 of those, and I'm still going to the gym and all that fun stuff. Also, I'm on fluid restrictions so please don't advise me to "drink lots of water", or really anything about my diet (I'm on a strict renal diet, and I meet with a nutritionist every couple weeks at dialysis)

Basically, I'd just like opinions on what I can do with my hair/makeup/etc to look more like a human being and less like a hideous beast. Is that okay? Thanks. <3

Edit: Wow, you guys. I am completely blown away by all the extremely helpful advice you all have given me. I was expecting a lot more... not hate, but I guess more on the "brutal" side of "brutal honesty". You guys are amazing, keep the ideas coming if you have them! Thank you all so very, very much. <3

Posted Sep 16, 2011, 2:31 AM UTC · edited

21125
[deleted]•

You are overweight and your teeth are a little yellow. That is all!

16
dreenOP•

I'll see if I can find something to fix the teeth when I go shopping tomorrow. Thanks!

4
kompkitty•

rembrandt makes a great whitening mouthwash and toothpaste that are not ridiculously expensive. I noticed a difference after a couple weeks of using their products.

2
dreenOP•

Thanks for the recommendation!

1
dreenOP•

Downvoted for thanking someone? Honestly confused, anyone care to explain?

1
jamonathin•

Honestly, a cheap way to whiten teeth is Arm 'n' Hammer whitening toothpaste. like [this]

Or do some home remedies like using strawberries. Look it up!

2
dreenOP•

Thanks, sounds interesting! To the Google machine!

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

2
dreenOP•

I'm already on a very strict renal diet, thanks though!

2
[deleted]•

By the way, you've improved so much over the 2 years. Keep it up!! I think you're pretty now, so imagine if you keep going!

-5
dreenOP•

I think you misinterpreted the order. The ones with the lighter hair colour are older, the ones with the shorter, darker hair are more recent. Thanks though!

4
VeraLynn126•

First, let me say that I LOVE your eyes. The thoughts going through my mind once I got to the last two photos were that you are actually rather cute. The smiles really look genuine (to me) and you don't look ugly at all.

Edit: After re-reading, it occurred to me that you are now larger because of an illness. Your beautiful eyes were STILL the first thing that I noticed.

11
dreenOP•

To be honest, I was still very large before my illness. The disease and the meds have just made it much more difficult to lose the weight again and keep it off. Thanks for the compliments!

5
aresef•

The later pics are like a completely different person. Not ugly. Beautiful eyes.

7
dreenOP•

Yeah, it's crazy what certain meds will do to you. Thanks.

2
[deleted]•

Once again I'm in the tragic minority here but if you want my honest opinion, I don't find you attractive at all. Some people are just not perfect 10's and there is nothing they can do about it. Good for you for trying to lose weight but unfortunately I don't think that's the only problem in this case. I'm sorry for being so harsh but that's my honest opinion. I know you asked for advice for improvement and I didn't give you any but I don't think I'm the best person to do that, I'm glad other people helped you though. 3/10.

7
dreenOP•

That's fine, of course not everyone is going to feel the same way. And, honestly, I expected a lot more responses like yours. Thanks for your input!

2
RichardBachman•

Calm down, calm down. You are not a hideous beast. Far from it. You look very friendly and approachable. Good luck with your weight loss.

7
dreenOP•

Thanks for the luck and the kind words

2
dreenOP•

Again, downvoted for thanking someone?

1
[deleted]•

liar.

0
kiwifruitfan•

you have really pretty eyes so maybe some mascara to really make them pop even more. I would say just a tad of color on your lips something subtle. overall just a little mascara and some lipstick. I dont think you are hideous at all. I think your skin is really nice especially since you have on no makeup.

5
dreenOP•

Thanks! Mascara I can do, but I've always had trouble with lip colour. I usually end up thinking it looks too obvious or gaudy? I don't know. I tried going to Sephora and asking them, but even then I thought the stuff they put on me was too much. Should I just suck it up and get used to it anyway? Haha

1
VeraLynn126•

Be specific. Tell them that you want to look more natural, less over-done.

3
dreenOP•

I will if I ever decide to do it again. Thanks!

1
HellaciousHelen•

Nude nude nude is the only lipliner color to ever use for someone who doesn't want to look like they're wearing makeup.

Qtip ProTip: If you gently blend the liner with a Qtip after you apply it, it will not seem "too much" as you put it. It will look angelic. Use a fresh qtip for top and bottom. This is the exact technique that master makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin uses in this pic of Tori Amos. I use this particular technique every day, then add clear or "lip-colored," gloss over it. Proves you don't have to get too complicated to make a major positive difference.

2
armanioromana•

Burt's Bees makes a tinted chapstick in a few different colors that adds enough color to bring attention to your lips without looking over done.

3
dreenOP•

Just wanted to say - I got a stick of the Burt's Bees tinted lip stuff today and I am absolutely in love with it. Thank you so much for the great recommendation!

2
dreenOP•

Thanks, I'll keep my eyes open for that!

1
kiwifruitfan•

you're welcome. im the same way I have red hair but I have brown eyes and my lip color is really pale I always feel gaudy when I put on lipstick, like a hooker. A good shade to look for is cinnamon thats what I always look for or something with a brown undertone. it's hard when you have pale skin naturally because most colors are just "too much" for everyday life.

2
dreenOP•

Thanks, I'll see what I can find!

1
[deleted]•

I recommend Mac cosmetics "Please Me" lipstick.

It's incredibly versatile and strikes a nice balance between adding colour and still appearing natural. I think it would suit your colouring. Excellent quality makeup too.

2
xrhinestonecowboyx•

I'm really pale, so lip color has always been strange to me too. I've found that the best lip color for me is a sheer pinkish gloss. It adds a slight tint, while letting your natural color come through. Good luck, and you don't look like a beast. You're ill, people will forgive you if you don't feel up to plastering yourself in makeup. ;)

2
dreenOP•

Thank you for the kind words and the advice!

1
lecadavredemort•

I love your hair in the last picture. I think you should stick with the longer hair and some side bangs. The bob haircut makes your face look even more rounded.

5
dreenOP•

Yeah I prefer longer hair as well. I was really upset when I had to get it chopped off, but at least it grows fast! Thanks for your input :)

1
Redhead1985•

Mascara, Bangs, Red hair, clear lipgloss.

I think you are gorgeous and I know how it feels to have weight issues due to an illness. The above are my suggestions that I think are subtle but will accentuate your great eyes, skin, and cheek bones.

4
dreenOP•

Thanks so much! I had a brief stint with red hair about a year and a half ago, this is the only picture I have from then. It's hard to tell because of the bad lighting, but it was red with some blondeish highlights in there. Should I go for something like that again, but with bangs like you suggested? (Also, side bangs or straight-across bangs?)

5
Redhead1985•

Straight across bangs imo. Also longer hair that is layered since you have a rounder face(like myself) Haha. I like strawberry blonde on you :-)

5
dreenOP•

Alright, thanks! I appreciate the advice :)

1
kompkitty•

The new hair did wonders for you! It's funny how such an insignificant thing can change your whole appearance. Also, the smile in that picture helps a lot! You're smiling with your whole face, not just your mouth.

You really have beautiful, expressive eyes! You can use that to your advantage. White eyeliner on the lower waterline will make them look bigger. I really like the pop that heavy mascara gives me, but some people don't. Looks like your eyes are blue, which means blues and browns are the colors to go with for eyeshadow. General guideline: medium on lid, dark in crease, light on brow.

I also might try a pink blush. You have really nice skin, so don't go overboard with a base and coverup and all that.

4
dreenOP•

Thanks for the advice and the kind words!

1
Science_Smartass•

Finally, a real thread in "amiugly". And by that I mean someone who I feel isn't trolling for compliments, and is actually using this as a useful discussion!

I don't have anything to add that hasn't been said other than keep up the weight loss. Just from the sounds of the restrictions you have I'd have to say you've had some rough health problems. I feel for you and hope you pull through.

4
dreenOP•

Thanks for posting, I'm glad I don't come off as a troll or an attention-seeker. Thank you for the kind words :)

1
Reverserer•

Unfortunately it's hard to see beyond the weight. I'd say worry about that as that has health consequences

4
dreenOP•

Yeah I'm going to the gym every day and seeing a personal trainer there every tuesday and thursday. Thanks!

3
[deleted]•

Good for you!

1
m_ell•

SMILE! Trust me, that'll do so much. You might not be a supermodel (and god knows being ill can really put a damper on your self-esteem) but just start smiling, it'll light up those gorgeous eyes. Also, FRECKLLLES, they're so great! I think you should really lighten your hair, I love the fifth photo with bangs. Save up some pennies and go see a great stylist to give you a cut + colour that will shape your face better and compliment your skin tone.

I've been having a lot of issues that go along with carrying weight from illness, and I know how incredibly frustrating it can be. If you ever need an ear or someone who can relate, don't hesitate to PM me. And I'm serious, smile. You're beautiful :]

3
dreenOP•

Thanks so much for the kind words, and the advice. I'm going to add you to my friend list thing on reddit here, and I'll definitely PM you if I need an ear. Thanks again! <33

1
m_ell•

much love, darlin' <3

2
emity•

I think the darker hair makes you look more pale... Lighter hair seems more like your colour ^_^

3
dreenOP•

Thanks, now I just have to wait for it to grow back out! xD

1
Rose375•

...Your face is really pretty. You have cute freckles and nice eyebrows, and gorgeous eyes and the perfect hair color to go with them. Supposedly if you have green eyes, purple eyeliner makes them stand out even more, but if you want a more natural look-you mentioned that somewhere, just brown eyeliner will make your eyes stand out a little more. And then clear lip gloss. You're cute! Good luck with losing weight despite the medicine. =(

2
dreenOP•

Thank you! I've tried purple eyeliner before but didn't see tooo much of a different between that and the brown. Maybe I'll try it again! Thanks again :)

3
jesusfxckingchrist•

aww, i'm sorry to hear you're on dialysis. (renal failure?) i can see you're on a fluid restriction, i can tell by the way your face is puffy in picture three (not trying to be a bitch.. i'm a nurse). don't be too hard on yourself. you're beautiful, and i commend you for still going out there and exercising, even while being ill. you're not a beast, even while you're sick and going through a rough time with your weight, you're still lovely. i can't really give you any criticism. youre not overweight because youre lazy, your skin is pretty clear and i think your hair is awfully pretty.

2
dreenOP•

Yeah, hardcore renal failure caused by vasculitis. The fluid issues and the prednisone both worked together to completely destroy my body and my face... I've got stretch marks from hell pretty much everywhere. Thanks for the kind words, and thank you even more for being a nurse! It's a hard job but I really appreciate all of the nurses I've had, you guys make a huge difference in people's lives!

1
[deleted]•

You're morphing, keep it up because you aren't ugly by any means...SMILE dammit. You almost have a Sissy Spacek thing going for you.

2
dreenOP•

Interesting, thanks for posting!

1
Helpful_Horse•

Your eyes are beautiful. Also, I love your freckles, they're so cute! I think you look better with dark hair, makes your eyes look even more amazing. I think if you would grow your hair out like it is in the earliest picture, along with the dark hair you have now, you'd look even cuter!

I honestly don't see what everyone's beef is with your teeth, they look normal color to me. Naturally, teeth aren't supposed to be SUPER WHITE as everyone thinks they're supposed to be.

Obviously you're a little overweight, but I understand that being on medication + being sick is going to make it ridiculously hard to lose weight. Just keep at it!

You're not a hideous beast as you put it. I think you have a natural cuteness to you, as in you don't need any makeup! :)

What I am most worried about is not your appearance, but rather your sickness. I hate to intrude, but is this life threatening? Sorry if the question is rude, but I'm genuinely curious.

I really hope you get better.

2
dreenOP•

Thanks so much for your input.

My disease (vasculitis) on its own is not technically life-threatening... but the kidney failure that it causes is. I'm actually in a bit of a stressful time right now because there are baaaasically three options for dialysis (which is how my blood gets cleaned now that my kidneys don't work). One is a central line, which is what I have now. A catheter is inserted in the neck or chest (I've had both) which leads into your heart, and they hook you up to a machine that pumps out your blood through the tube. The best way is with a fistula, which is when they cut open your arm, splice an artery and a vein together, and use big needles (like the ones they use to draw blood for blood tests, only bigger) to hook you up to the machine. I've had the fistula surgery, but it was unsuccessful. The last option is peritoneal dialysis, in which the dialysis fluid is pumped into your abdominal cavity through a catheter that is installed under or near your belly button. I go in for an appraisal on Oct 4th to see if that's an option for me.

If PD isn't an option, I am stuck with my central line. These are "permanent" dialysis methods, but they're supposed to last somewhere around 5-10 years, from my understanding, before they start to go a bit wonky.

Mine has lasted a little over three months. Once it goes, there's no way to clean my blood and I will die. So I'm really hoping that I'm approved for peritoneal. xD

1
Helpful_Horse•

Holy batman, that's freaking scary. I admire your positive attitude, I would be a total train-wreck. Is there any chance for a kidney transplant? Or would it be pointless because of your vasculitis? I hope you get approved for peritoneal... mind to update me (reddit) once you get evaluated? Sorry for being so nosy, but when I hear of stories like this, I get engrossed in them and love to root for the fellow redditor that is being challenged!

Thanks for explaining to me though. Good luck!

2
dreenOP•

Yeah a transplant is pointless as long as I have the vasculitis (congratulations! You're the first person to figure that out on their own... you get a gold star). I'll try to remember to post something after my appointment. Thanks for the luck!

1
furosity•

Your not that bad!

2
dreenOP•

Thanks, and happy Reddit birthday!

1
DownWithTheSickness•

Lighter hair and lose 90 pounds. Be social and fun and the rest will come natural.

2
dreenOP•

Thanks, will do.

1
loki7405•

Teeth whitening. Grow out your hair. Short bobs like that only work for very slim faces. Go for something longer with layers where the shortest layer starts a few inches past your chin. Side swept bangs would help. Mascara and liner to make your eyes pop. Dye your hair a slightly lighter/warmer shade so it's not as harsh against your pale skin.

2
dreenOP•

Yeah I hate having my hair that short, I had to get it chopped off after most of it broke off while I was in the hospital. Luckily for me my hair grows quickly! Thanks for the advice. The hairdresser I went to last said that he couldn't dye my hair any lighter at all (it was previously a purple-y red) so that's why I have the weird brown over the reddish colour now. Should I look for someone else? Would someone else be able/willing to dye it a bit lighter, or do I need to wait until it grows out?

1