it’s barely been a year since i accepted i was in fact a lesbian and not bisexual and now i get to question if i’m asexual too or just depressed?? fun. love it
(if any asexual lesbians wanna give me some insight that would be dope too. or a hug. i could also use a hug)
Posted Dec 27, 2020, 2:34 AM UTC
Tbh talking to other ace people and then talking to allosexual people kind of made it more apparent to me that I’m more on the ace end. There’s a real but hard to explain disconnect between how I perceive sex and how allo people perceive it... they just experience more and it feels glaringly obvious when they talk about sex and sexual attraction that my experiences are different. AVEN forums are a good resource for helping figure stuff out. The rest of this is mildly nsfw/intrusive questions.
! I think some good questions to ask oneself include; is sex something you want to do or experience? How does hypothetical sex make you feel? Do you have a general idea of what constitutes sexual attraction and have you experienced it? How do you feel about the possibility of being touched sexually or touching someone sexually? Do you experience libido? Has your libido ever been directed at someone? Do you find yourself seeking out intimate touch but not being aroused by it? Do you want a romantic relationship but feel ambivalent about sex? Do you feel like you could or would provide stimulation for another person without experiencing arousal or interest yourself? !<
Why do I feel so seen in this comment?? Why did I just start sweating?
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I'm asexual and female and my gf and I met on asexual cupid. We both chose to identify then as "biromantic" on the site.i think it still holds true for me and last time I heard she felt more homo romantic.
We've been getting a little more physical lately and we both are comfortable with how things are developing.
At the end of the day, I don't care what my orientation is bc I love her and that's all that matters to me. I've always felt that labels are for other people, and I don't like to label myself because I see that as limiting myself.
On the other hand, if you have depression, definitely see a mental health specialist. I have depression too and that has never affected my attraction/lack of sexual attraction to others.
Edit: spelling
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I think you’re lonely
Do you have other symptoms of depression? If so, I think self-care on that front is the top priority, regardless of how it affects the ace/not ace answer. You deserve to be happy.
Asexuality is different for different people. It might be easier to focus on specific feelings. Compare how you'd think you'd feel in various hypotheticals with how you've generally felt in the past. Ask yourself questions like how would you feel if you met the perfect person for you, but they weren't able/willing to have sex ever? Would you be Bummed? Relieved? Indifferent? Would it be a dealbreaker or make it hard to stay close? What about other scenarios (perfect person needs X amount of intimacy, or insists on it being a certain way?)
I think once your own feelings are clear, it'll be easier for you to decide if "asexual" feels like a good description.