
From this im losing insane amounts if sleep. );;;;

You're probably protecting yourself from being hurt or abused again by not letting anyone near you emotionally. I know it's scary to meet with doctors and show that vulnerability someone took advantage of befire, but that's what you gotta do. Tell a doctor and let them help you be referred to a therapist. You went through trauma and you need professional help. Your suicidal thoughts won't be possible to handle on your own without the help of a therapist. You're only eighteen too, the sooner you get help the sooner you can recover and build yourself up again. You have your whole life left waiting for you to take the step.

Cant say  the best in most situations,yet I can say my heart aches to hear this,
After an abusive relationship the after affects can be destructive and well can leave scars that you just cant see by looking

I could say just reach out and grab the strength,or it gets better with time and dont let those thoughts control you.

But I cant,that is all easier said then done,those memories will be there for a long time,and sadly that is what hurts the most when you look back

I can say with a heavy heart there will be more pain down the road

Yet it all depends upon how you move forward with it,
Taking this kind of stuff a single day at a time hell even a minute at a time is fine,
Take a pace you feel you are ready for,don't rush yourself.

Life is the cruelest thing,it throws almost impossible task,yet I do believe you can make it  through, I have complete faith in you

Sorry if I'm rambling,im crap with advice

Why do I not feel attracted to other women after a year go I was heavily abused in an online relationship. I just feel no connection or feeling that I need that person if that makes sense.

I feel so alone 18 myself not having connected with anyone. I need advice as whenever I have bads thoughts it's been making me suicidal. No I don't feel comfortable telling anyone even a doctor.

Abusive relationship side effects. HELP!!!