Does anyone else feel like they are constantly under attacking and have something to prove?

As much as I hate to admit it, I constantly feel like I have to guard myself, my body, reputation and my name.

This can make me hyper sensitive to perceived attacks.

This makes me very aggressive and unsocial.

The worst part is I feel like everyone is constantly against me and thinks I'm mental, but are too scared to say, or that I'm acting trashy.

I know I have a good heart and am kind, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable so much, over shit that none gives a shit about.

Its amazing how some people can go around live their lives 24/7 not giving a fuck about judgements of them, while me uploading the simplest story requires a lot of boldness from me due to thoughts such as "what if they are laughing at it behind my back?"

Back when I was a kid I got humiliated by a former best friend, in retrospect he was abusive and violent, but he was my best friend at the time. one day he made fun of me when I was being myself and ever since it definitely made me untrusting.

I will tackle this in therapy next session..