Source
r/asktrp•
Mostass

LTR is being pushy about meeting her friends and family

She's a decent woman that does her best to please me, but I'm not really a fan of spending time with her family and friends. I always felt a bit uncomfortable with those situations but since I was a wimp a few years ago, I always said "yes" whenever any exes wanted me to tag along.

She has these sort of events on pretty much a weekly basis, and started asking me to come along recently. She said "it means a lot to her" . I told her that I don't really enjoy doing these things and that I'd rather stay home, but I thought I could throw her a bone on New Years Eve and celebrate it with her friends, since I couldn't do it with mine due to logistics.

Now she just asked me to come with her to her friend's birthday, I told her that I got plans and she got upset.

Am I just being an autist by not going with her, or should I just stand my ground?

My instinct tells me to just do what I want.

Any thoughts?

Posted Jan 13, 2021, 5:46 PM UTC

17
jjj2576•

Don’t date a women whose family you don’t want to spend time with.

7
Dvrkvision•

Probably means you’re doing something right if she’s showing you off. But if you’re in her circle every week then she’ll wonder why you don’t have your own stuff going on

4
[deleted]•

Probably means you’re doing something right if she’s showing you off.

I disagree.

Meeting family runs very close to commitment, and thus a provider role.

When I lived with my family the guys that my sister brought home with her were mostly chumps and fulfilled a beta provider role as opposed to an alpha role.

3
SteveRogersPill•

Show up occasionally. Sometimes twice in a row when she asks is fine. Just don’t fall in the habit of going to because she asks or begs. Do your own shit like you’ve been doing it. But you’re in an LTR so make her somewhat happy sometimes lmao.

4
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1
gluedown•

She's your LTR bro, not some plate or Fwb. You don't have to go every time you're invited, but put some effort into making her happy, you'll be rewarded ten fold. If it's important to her, it should be important to you.

I did the same shit with my ex-LTR, she was always bugging me to hang out with her friends / family. I never put the effort in and I now see the effect it had on our relationship and bonding.

1
PimpinLikeIceberg•

Different insight here but still...

I was in a Polygamous relationship with two girls and one of them was always pushing for me meeting her friends, she even hid the fact that they were coming one night we were together and I got out before they came haa.

Well that was her way of taking more of ME from the other girl..

You're not being autistic, what you might be thinking is legit. In your situation I think it's the kinda the same as mine but without the second girl.

Don't forget also that it is one of the early stages of the Betaization process...but it's minor don't worry. If you don't feel like meeting them just stand your ground and meet them when you feel like it.

0