I did put my true effort into those critiques.

**Part 3**

**My Thoughts**

Okay, my main issue with this piece is that it doesn't seem to know what it wants to be. For example, what is the point in the entire beginning of this piece? What does it add? Why do we need to know that Todd's mother didn't want him to go to university? Why is Todd even the main character? At first, I thought this would be a story about adjusting to life in university or about Todd's life at home, then I thought it would be about Todd attending a party, then I thought it would be about Todd getting lost, then I thought it was about social anxiety. But no, the piece was about a dead friend of Todd who isn't mentioned until almost the end of the piece? You see what I mean about the story not knowing what it wants to be?

Literally, almost the entirety of the story could be cut and it wouldn't make a difference to how the trailer scene played out (which seems to be the main point of the piece). So what is the point in all of these details? Again, why is this

**Part 2**

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>Todd thought, cringing a bit.

"cringing" is an odd word to use here and doesn't feel fitting to the reaction one would get from the interaction. In fact, you'd be better to omit the whole highlighted tag because it adds nothing. Also, there's a few other instances where your word-choice isn't fitting so I would watch out for this. A few lines later you use the dialogue tag "He spoke." when "said" would do just fine and it felt a tad jarring. This point also links into the writer-reader communication thing I mentioned.

In fact, the whole interaction between Jackson and Todd feels quite clunky and unnatural. Why does Todd respond to Jackson saying he hasn't changed by asking for his car keys? I assume this has got something to do with the senior year incident/friend's death but the way it's currently conveyed just doesn't work. I think you know why this works, but to a reader it feels like a stilted thing to say due to it lacking any real preamble.

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>Wh

**Part 1**

Hello, I initially wasn't going to give this a full critique, that's why it's a bit line-edity.

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> Painfully mediocre in everything he’s dedicated himself to, except for his amount of acne 

The way this is worded makes it sound like he's dedicated himself to having acne which I don't think you were going for. You may as well cut after the comma because the next part adequately tells of his acne. 

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> Todd was the type of guy that never found that thing that clicked for him. 

Maybe just "his calling" instead? Reads awkward and verbose at the moment.

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> One of the wheels on his skateboard had broken, and he missed Taco Tuesdays. 

This sentence feels out of place where it currently is.

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> He had already made this decision, and he wouldn’t go back on it. 

This was already implied in the last sentence so it's superfluous. Watch out for these unnecessary sentences.

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> After all, he didn’t have a lot of things, but one of them w

[2406] Frozen in Time