What is the opening sentence of your autobiography?

Yallneedsomejohngalt was at his core a simple man who wanted nothing more than to pet his dog, drink bourbon, and smoke cigars.

That's it, that's the whole autobiography

Edit:pet not let his dog... Clearly I need an editor

bruh moment.

‘After everything that happened, what surprised me most was that I still had all my teeth.’

“I was born at a young age”

It all started with an ejaculation.