Source
r/OCPoetry•
ivegotthelimes

One Imagined Evening

A sweet vine drips from the trees

I can taste the nectar of every flower

all at once,

for the scent shimmers through space

with each passing waft of pink air.

Orange rays of setting sun

play with your fiery hair

and set it alight.

Your body seems to be

its own star as well.

You grab grass in great fistfuls,

you show me the meaning in every green vein,

and though it is lost on me,

I know the meaning of this sacred sunset.

And so do you.

​

Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/l2umnl/ode_to_my_younger_self/gk875l0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/kwus51/finding_joy/gj6vtiw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Posted Feb 12, 2021, 2:47 AM UTC

53
Successful_Society32•

Nice poem. I'm a sucker for imagery, and yours was warm, fresh, springy, sweet. Thank you for sharing.

2
needa-Peace-4fs•

love it nice work.......i wish i could read it with my eyes closed and mind open

2
Frances2002•

I loved this. I am a sucker for heavy imagery but yours was done so well that I didn't feel lost or bogged down reading it (which is what always happens when I write). I also thought you did a beautiful job with the pace of the poem, it didn't really have any spots where it got stuck or didn't flow. Truly wonderful!

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