[2991] Ouroboros

Hi everyone! First-time poster, let me know if anything I've done is breaking the rules or if my critiques aren't up to snuff. Love this community, I'm really looking forward to your feedback. Please be harsh!

Story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D-L4hJVcFm64_Z9e1j0L8DGv0mAxVchv_Qo_iu2Ui8o/edit?usp=sharing

Critiques:

[2100]https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/lk48ow/2100_two_two_eight/gnx9xzv/?context=3

[3167]https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/lljo5r/3167_to_the_den_chapter_one/gnt0v2h/?context=3

Thank you all!