Crackfic Crossover Idea: Danzo (Naruto) gets replaced by Danzo (FGO)

Simply speaking, This ugly mofo gets replaced by this robot-ninja mom. When and how the replacement happens according to the author's pleasure. She is good enough at Henge and illusions to pretend to be the OG Danzou.

Basically Naruto's Kato Danzou and FGO's Kato Danzou are based off the same RL ninja.

One interpretation has him one eyed ugly mofo and another has a sexy robo-mom waifu and we both know which is the better interpretation, don't we?

Anyway, FGO Kato Danzou is a 'Karakuri doll', a puppet built by the sorceror Kashin Koji and imparted the skills of the Fuuma Ninja Clan by the 1st Fuuma Kotarou. She did not possess free will in her historical lifetime only acting according to her programmed instructions (serving the Fuuma Clan), but after becoming recorded in Human History and ascending as a Heroic Spirit, she became capable of having feelings - still new to it though.

You can consider her as the foil to Sasori, a puppet that gained humanity. Lorewise she is skilled at manufacturing puppets and illusion techniques, but for actual battles she uses bullets, rocket launchers and her Ultimate is a vacuum blade that sucks in enemies and pulverizes them by compression. You can spin it as her having Steel Release or something.

Story Ideas:

• After replacing ugly mofo Danzou, she realizes that the person she has replaced is a major headcase and probably the most corrupt ninja in the establishment. He is sponsoring traitors (Orochimaru), is spurring a loyal clan to rebellion (Uchiha), has a fucked up 'training program' which turns humans into puppets (ROOT) and worst of all, pointlessly kills loyal subordinates (Yakushi Nono). Big mess to fix.

• First of all, the little problem of being a robot kunoichi pretending to be a ugly mofo has to be fixed. Simple: She tells Hiruzen that Danzou has become too old and for the safety of Konoha, it would be better for him (a old, decrepit man) to die and be immediately replaced by a secretly groomed young successor. (When Hiruzen realizes that Danzou basically wants to fake death and permanently Henge into a attractive female form, he approves the request without hesitation.)

• The Uchiha Clan rebellion problem pops up. Hiruzen doesn't see any way forward - only exterminating the dissidents will still leave lingering resentment in the survivors. There are two loyal Uchiha - Shisui and Itachi, both who are willing to brainwash/ exterminate the clan for Konoha's benefit. To that, the new Danzo's reply is...

• A big-brain plan which uses covert assassinations aided by Genjutsu to have all the warmongers dead and their Sharingan extracted, with false evidence scattered so that the blame is laid on a spy. A spy that the Counter-Surveillance Unit had spotted has the Sharingan planted on him, who is immediately killed by Itachi. Itachi makes the show of returning the Sharingan to his father, which helps him regain confidence in the heart of the clan. The rebellion is successfully quelled.

• Hiruzen thinks about how Danzo was hellbent on exterminating the Uchiha Clan in their previous interactions, but still brought the rebellion to a as-peaceful-as-it-could-get conclusion. He thinks that maybe Danzo wanted Kagami Uchiha's legacy to not disappear and believes that both of them have softened in peacetime - which is only natural.

• Hiruzen, Shisui and Itachi attend 'ugly mofo Danzou's' funeral where all three of them console robomom Danzou for her 'loss'. Hiruzen realizes that Itachi has a crush on Danzou and sniggers knowing the 'truth'.

• Danzou starts training her ROOT subordinates (Danzou basically had them stay cannon fodder level). She also begins manufacturing puppets to act as cannon fodder while she raises some elites. Sai and Yamato are totally astonished.

• Danzou decides to catch up with the Naruto World's achievements in her her ninjutsu field - puppetry. Somehow she meets with Sasori and they have a long conversation about their ninjutsus, puppets and life. She somehow ends up Talk-No-Jutsu'ing him into a better person.

• Danzou copies one of the ugly mofo's favorite lines and asks for permission to 'turn the Kyuubi jinchuriki into a weapon for Konoha'. Sarutobi actually accepts and Danzo now has to train the #1 Hyperactive Blonde.

• After Konoha Crush, Sarutobi chooses Danzo as his successor in his will. Danzo now has to weasel out of the chair by saying arguments like 'If I become the Hokage, who will be Konoha's darkness?' and such bullshit. Itachi volunteers.

Basically, most of the fic will likely be full of cute and funny interactions. Spinning it into something more serious will be super challenging.

Resources:

FGO Danzo Dialogue (Wiki): https://fategrandorder.fandom.com/wiki/Sub:Kat%C5%8D_Danz%C5%8D/Dialogue

FGO Danzo Dialogue (Youtube): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTIRnwB2tCs

FGO Danzo Interlude: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nPEJ0yu8qc&t=30s

FGO Danzo Valentines: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0hPjElDrPs