Help

I need help. I’m losing my mind, I’m very close to driving my car full speed off the road. The only thing stopping me is my mom, I feel like that would ruin her life. I don’t know where else to post this. I’m also very close to using one of my boyfriend’s guns. I have no purpose, I don’t see anything worthwhile happening in the future I just want to do something drastic and permanent. I don’t know what kind of help I’m asking for I’m just done.