I wonder, as I fall
I know you call me a coward. Blame me for so much. Even though I love you. You think that your not enough. And yes, it's my fault, but I can explain.
It's not that the risk is greater than the reward, cause your my everything. But it's that the loss would be worse than not knowing at all.
And I'd rather have to accept nothing, than go and lose it all. So, I can't tell you, until I'm sure, that you love me.
And I know I've missed your hints. No, I've just dis-missed them, cause-a fear has-a hold of me. I know that I love you. But do you love me? Oh, Will we ever be?
You say that everyone is fake, what if they're not? What if I'm just the perfect cliche. I chase that fairy tale, I only want you. What would you do I told you that all I say is true? What if I said that I'm in love with you?
You say that I am the kind of person who would believe in the perfect cliche. But you, your different and say it just can't be true. Now I'll ask, oh if you can trust me. I ask if you would believe. I tell that I can prove it too you. I wonder if I did say, would you be able to learn and see? Oh- everything that is so, so real to me...
Cause, oh I swear all I say is true. No matter what, you can't make me move. I will defend my stance, and live on this day. I will fight withought a sense of dismay. Cause oh- I swear it's true. Baby, I think I'm falling in love with you.
Posted Mar 4, 2021, 10:41 PM UTC · edited
Easy to read declaration of love. I sense the fear of non reciprocity in some of the lines such as, " And I know I've missed your hints. No, I've just dis-missed them, cause-a fear has-a hold of me. I know that I love you. But do you love me? Oh, Will we ever be? " This poem is heartfelt and that came through in a simple and sincere way. The author seems reluctant to love without knowing that he/she is loved first. The message of the poem is easy to grasp but perhaps if it were shortened and written more to the point with carefully crafted metaphors it would yield a stronger impact. Finally, there are many 'your' that should be 'you're'. Overall, a Sweet love letter poem that seems very personal and would mean a lot to the intended reader.
Wow, I'm amazed that all of that was construed so clearly. Though here is my theory. I will admit and conform. Find a way to tell her, even if it makes me squirm. It may be a second, hour, day, or month. And when I do, I hope I'm not too late; though I'll know soon enough; I don't have the guts, no, the gull to confess right now. But some day, I'll eventually find out how.
And yeah lol. I wrote this in a matter of 10 minutes while texting her and grammar wasn't top priority at the time but I will definitely fix that rn.
Thanks for your feedback, I have written some songs in the past and felt that this was too short for a song and wanted feedback so decided to post it as a poem. That's why it's at such an akward length, is what I want to say. But I have a bad habit of making excuses weather true or not and I'm trying to break that habit. Therefore, I'll say instead; I'm going to look this over and maybe lengthen it into a song but if I cant figure anything out than I will definitely, as you said, "shorten it and have it written more to the point with carefully crafted metaphores".
Edit: grammar
Here's my theory as (probably) an older man than you. Summon the courage quickly and with as much charisma as possible. Be transparent with her and tell her that she makes you feel nervous if that's the case. Tell her that you wish to spend so much time with her that you will feel more comfortable being next to her than next to your own parents. Just tell her you like her first, later declare your love. But do it, and the sooner the better. When you get old enough to look back at all your missed opportunities, you will wish someone has invented a time machine, and you will be out of luck. Live the moment to the fullest, have no regrets ;)