A Guide to Zeroes: One Easy Trick to Maximize Your Gains

NOTE: This is a repost. I'm doing this because the user response was amazingly positive and the bot interference heavy. I may do it again because I truly feel this mindset can help many nervous apes. Unless some event warrants it, I will not repost during the week. Even I wouldn't want to see my attempt at wisdom over good, proper, DD. Original.

Now back to your regularly scheduled non-advice.

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Not investment advice, quite literally! This is a general topic that's important for the financial world at large. How you should view those zeroes in your account is super important now.

What's about to be a deep-sea of zeroes to you is a kiddie pool to hedgies!

Consider this a PSA. I'm not about to be doing fancy math or citing sources or any of that hard work bullshit. I'm the smoothest of smooth-brained bapes and this has simply been on my mind. It should be on yours too.

Whether you've been investing for a while or snatched your first share up recently, it doesn't matter. This is an important topic for ANYONE who has never been a millionaire. I.e. All our sorry, meme-loving, poor people asses.

Money is different the more you have, that's it.

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Seems obvious but fuck no it isn't, not when you're suddenly seeing your potential gains going up and picturing all it can do for you. Let's go with 1,000; speaking in US terms because I'm a monolingual American idiot.

Suddenly, I can sell for 1k, that's awesome! ... right? I see that one thousand and I picture WEEKS of meals; that's a huge boost to my budget! That's being stress-free! Feels like a freaking miracle, it's amazing! These are dreams of avocados and toast bby!

What is that to a hedgie? Fucking nothing.

Let's not even talk about 1k, it means nothing. It's not even a dollar on their Richter scale of wealth. Remember Bill Gates on the Ellen show? The rich don't understand small numbers and we don't understand big numbers.

You're going to get excited at seeing those baby zeroes because, to us, these gains mean something. To the individual, they're a miracle. In the grand scheme of things, you're plucking a grain of rice out of the bag and it's a big, fucking, bag.

Note: Please do not fuck the bag of proverbial money rice.

EDIT: u/Illuvater pointed me to an actual bag of money rice. Perfect for you visual learner apes!

How about 10k? Well, damn son! For some of us that's nearly a year of living, or at least a few months of our version of luxury. You got multiple stocks? Fuck, two years of stress-free living? Three? I could go for that!

Maybe your brain accepts up to 100k, oh man, savings! The true dream!

Fuck no it ain't.

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Citadel is worth 34 BILLION in assets.

That thousand dollars that can change your month? That's .000001% of ONE BILLION DOLLARS; they have 34 of those.

That nice 10k? That's just .00001% of that same billion.

100K, let's make a dent! Now you're at .0001% of a billion dollars.

THEY HAVE 34 BILLION.

Your life-changing money is NOTHING to them. YOU are nothing to them. We are different species and WE have to evolve to their level of thought to get the most out of investments, business deals, and this event.

Now you're seeing why 1 million isn't a meme, huh? But like I said, no fucking financial advice here, just perspective.

Personally, I get rid of those zeroes while other people think in percents.

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HERE'S THE TRICK FOR YOU LAZY, POST SCANNING, APES

34,000,000,000? No, that's 340,000; ratio it down for your ape brain. Remove six of those damn zeroes, get some perspective. Suddenly, we're working with 10,000 for every 1,000,000,000 we had before.

EDIT: Thanks u/Phr3nic, we're removing FIVE of the damn zeroes. At least this shows how dizzying they all can get! They also pointed out that I forgot that there were 100 cents in a dollar so 1k is 1 cent (original .01) and 10k is 10 cents (original 1 cent). Thanks again!

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Now your 1k is 1 cent.

Now your 10k is 10 cents.

100k becomes a dollar. A million is $10. See how this works? Your weak-ass neurons are now firing in a way that makes sense.

This also helps to get rid of feelings of greed. I don't know about you, but I see a couple of thousand dollars and my poor ass starts to feel bad! But no, those are pennies, pennies that we're entitled to. Pennies that we invested for and pennies that we believe in.

So, when the rich start complaining about all the money we're 'taking' at a thousand, remember, it's not even a penny. And, remember, they started this game.

EDIT: u/pentakiller19 brought up that this is ONLY Citadel and I want everyone to remember that. They are not the only player here, not to mention the various safety nets these corporations have. The money (and corruption) runs deep.

Take the worth of any company involved, divide it by 100,000 and you have your perspective.

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That's it. I'm not going to keep telling you how to get perspective, I'm telling you that you should. I'm telling you that it's important to pen in a wrinkle or two on that brain of yours in preparation for liftoff. I'm telling you that the memes are not memes once you look at numbers from the POV of a rich as sin hedge fund.

Most importantly, I'm not telling you anything; this isn't financial advice. I like the stock.

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TL;DR: Their money is not the same as our money. It's not even pennies on the dollar. Read your gains from THEIR perspective for your best results, best gains, and best revenge.

Ratio it down if you have to. Divide their billions by 100k and your gains by the same number; see it in zeroes YOU understand. When you see those 1k gains you're seeing 1 cent. Are you here for penny stocks?

Don't feel greedy, you aren't. They created the game and you figured out the rules.

Finally: read this and protect your money you peasant https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/m3i8kc/how_to_keep_your_newly_minted_title_of_millionaire/