DB where both partners wish it was better

Hi. I'm here mostly for help figuring out where I should look for help (want to hit the right subs for starters).

The situation: Wife is post menopausal or mostly so, and reports that her libido has dropped almost to zero. She still wants physical intimacy sometimes, but it's an infrequent and faint urge. Orgasms are possible, but take a longer time than she can deal with a lot of the time.

I have had medical issues that make durable erections difficult in the best of circumstances, which in turn puts a psychological load on any physicality with my wife that makes any erections a complete non-starter in that situation. Orgasms are possible but I find "beating a dead horse" somewhat humiliating and unsatisfying.

As a consequence, intimacy is fraught and we both often hesitate to start anything or just can't be bothered when it's so likely to be less than we hope for.

We have an amazing 25+ year relationship otherwise (we LOVE being together, even just on a long drive or something like that) and we communicate really well, even about this stuff. Neither of us feels good about where we've ended up, but seem unable to help each other or ourselves.