Is anyone out there?

I’m always most afraid of my trauma at night. I’m afraid of sleeping. No nightmares. None that I can recall, but my body tenses. Anyway. I wish I had someone. A friend. I don’t have an emergency contact. Other than my therapist, the only other times I might see or talk to another being is when I get groceries once a week and the same transactional conversation. And II always feel so dumb after. I’m afraid of the depths of my trauma and what that means. I’m afraid of nights because it never feels like I’ll survive them.