Source
r/BabyBumps•
eet

I love my family but...

I've just spent an entire day with grandparents. Feeling nauseous and drained. It didn't help that my grandma (bless her) seems to think I'm deliberately starving my baby by not eating large meals. It took what little energy I had left to keep rejecting her offerings every couple of minutes. And when it came to lunch, she tried to give me clams (though I'd told her at the moment even the thought of seafood makes me gag). Least rested day ever. I'm to be keeping them company every Thursday though (It's complicated). I love them, but right now the very thought makes me want to throw up. :(

Edit: Just wanted to rant. Although if you have any tricks (besides avoiding my family forever) I'd appreciate it :)

Posted Nov 24, 2011, 12:26 PM UTC · edited

1227
eetOPNew mum :)•

I've just had a shower and am feeling better.

It's actually not too bad a situation I guess. Grandpa understands somewhat. And some of the resulting conversation between the two is hilarious (in retrospect).

"She just said if she eats too much she feels like vomiting. Stop pushing her. What is wrong with you?"

"Oh I can't take this any more. I'm just looking out for her and no one listens to me." Grandma throws arms up in the air dramatically (she's like that) and stalks out.

5 minutes later... "Here darling, I fried an egg for you. :)"

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eetOPNew mum :)•

Ok. Last one for the night.

"How about I fry you some liver?"

"She just said that's bad for the baby. Weren't you listening? We had this conversation last week!"

Couple of minutes later when guests arrive.

"She won't eat liver. I don't know what to do with her."

"Liver isn't good for her baby! It interferes with it's development!"

"Oh, that's right.."

My poor Grandpa. I guess I'm not the only one exhausted today.

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eetOPNew mum :)•

What's funny is that the symptoms I have (extreme exhaustion and aversion to large meals; I can only eat a little every few hours) is exactly what my grandma recalls going through too.

But it's still, "Oh yes. Why I remember when I had your father all I wanted to do was sleep. Lost all interest in food whatsoever. Now eat this!"

Sigh.

7
cristine02•

food = love in most grandparents eyes, try to remember that and be patient. also maybe carry a plate of food around with you but just eat little tidbits of it as you go, maybe if she sees you with food in your hand she'll stop trying to feed you.

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eetOPNew mum :)•

Thankyou. I'll try that. When I think about it, grandpa spent the whole day in the same room as me (while grandma was wandering in and out - going shopping, chatting with neighbours etc.) so he did get to see me eat more than grandma did. I'll hold a plate of crackers in my lap the next time I go. Thanks again!

Edit: Wandering not wondering, gah!

3
carinda•

My in-laws were pushing food back when i was pregnant, "you have to eat something" until they spent a day with me and saw HOW MUCH I PUKED and how nauseaus I was... they left me alone after that.... put i guess puking on grandma might be uncouth...

Good luck. with it all. :-)

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eetOPNew mum :)•

Thankyou.

My mother in law fortunately remembers the feeling and has been so very understanding :)

Only a few more weeks and hopefully the nausea subsides!

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yaenMama to Ev, 14 month, and pregnant with Baby September, 32 weeks•

That's hilarious but you DEFINTELY have my sympathies. How draining! And to not be able to get away or snap, because she's your grandmother and has the best intentions... Yikes. I wish I had any advice at all. Maybe show her a baby book that recommends eating lots of small meals? Eating slowly and very conspicuously so she thinks you're eating more? Hang in there!

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eetOPNew mum :)•

What a lovely idea. Thankyou!

Although, any books I show her would need to be in Chinese. Which I can't read. And. Wait, I've just had a thought, she's illiterate (never went to school). Never mind, I'll get hubby to look it up when he gets home and we'll give the book to Grandpa.

Thanks again :)

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Chocobean1st girl, 8 months old•

HAH! reading your other comments (esp re: liver) I KNEW you were Chinese!!

have you eaten those eggs/pork legs in vinegar yet? edit: oops sorry, just realized you're ONLY 7 weeks. She'll probably start you off with lots of fish soup first hahaha.

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eetOPNew mum :)•

Yes ^^ I'm in Taiwan (moved from Australia). Grandma tried the pork legs early...but :( no can do. No fish soup so far...but lots of clams! It's so difficult as I'm currently adverse to smelly foods...and so much of Asian foods (especially traditional countryside Taiwan stuff) is so strong smelling :( I've been surviving on crackers so far...

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AnneRKeyNew Mom•

I have a similar problem with my grandma tho it's not as bad. I'm her only grandchild so when I visit (usually a weekend a month) she persists in her tradition of spoiling me. This manifests in the form of homemade pies, coffee cakes, lunches out, etc. I'm not complaining but I always seem to have an appointment with the midwife directly after a visit with grandma and I get a lecture for gaining too much weight!

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eetOPNew mum :)•

I'd love to be able to eat the food she offers me. Hopefully I'll be less nauseous in the future. I know its distressing for my grandma because she's always liked feeding us grandchildren (having grown up extremely poor through WW2 and all) and normally I can oblige but now... :(

1
AnneRKeyNew Mom•

It'll get better! Soon you'll want to eat all the things!

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live2frolf #2 Due May 29 - #1 Anna born June 22/12•

lol this sounds a lot like my family! Except I'm trying to keep my pregnancy a secret until Dec 1st (my grandmas birthday) We went over to her house for dinner tonight and i had to be really sneaky telling her i didn't want certain foods without raising any red flags and such. We're SO CLOSE, i don't want to blow the surprise but shes so pushy. It was a struggle getting through the evening without blurting out "AHHH Grandma! I'm pregnant!" She even turned to me at dinner and said "You look different!" ... My husband and i looked at each other and all i could do was say "I don't know why that would be" and took a sip of my water so i wouldn't burst out laughing.

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eetOPNew mum :)•

:) Grandmas are so sweet aren't they? Good luck on keeping things secret, I hope your grandma loves her surprise!

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RollerDollDue 4/14/14•

Waving food in your face at 7 weeks? Has this woman ever been pregnant?! Perhaps you should take her up on it once just so you can throw up on her shoes to settle the matter. ;)

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eetOPNew mum :)•

Unfortunately, I'm currently more adverse to throwing up than to having food waved in my face.

Perhaps I'll feel differently next week..

1
starlyMom [preschooler & toddler]•

No real advice here. I think it's somewhat cute. My grandma is similar 'You delivered a heavy baby (almost 4kg), you are a brave woman!' 'But grandma, you are at least as brave (learned just recently that her first pregnancy both twins were 3,5 kg)' - good a year later: 'You are pregnant again. How will you handle two kids? You are strong' 'You raised half a dozen kids, you are to admire'. She won't believe me that she is in fact a strong woman and I just starting with my life and haven't accomplished much.

Seems like grandmas forget how young moms feel, but I'm sure she has the best intentions to you. Maybe you can talk a little with her about her pregnancies and/or youth. My grandma wasn't ready to talk about this time in her life (much shame going on then) until recently and I'm stunned on the differences as well as similarities between our experiences.

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eetOPNew mum :)•

Thankyou. I've tried that but she forgets so quickly it seems. Thankyou for your story. Your grandma sounds lovely!

1
OriDoodleMama to Brielle (4/28/12) and Due 15/3/2015 (BOY)•

Breath slowly, take something smelly good (little bottle of peppermint oil?) with you to ward off the smells of food. Only 5 more weeks and you should be feeling so much better!! you can do it!

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eetOPNew mum :)•

All smells currently put me off :( I'm into bland things at the moment. The blander the better. But on this point Grandma's been quite obliging. For example when she gave me the egg, she was quite proud of the fact she'd remembered not to put anything else with it, "See, there's no sesame oil or spring onions. See mine has lots of spring onions!"

Thankyou though :) I'd forgotten that it'll only be a few more weeks. Hopefully then I can eat again! Thanks!

2
Chocobean1st girl, 8 months old•

she sounds so adorable!!

1
eetOPNew mum :)•

Aha yes :) I love her to bits. She's been so through so much for my family..

1
[deleted]•

My grandparents were always trying to feed me too:)

Is there something you have been eating that doesn't nauseate you?

For me it was almonds and apples. I would let them know what you like to snack on so they can have some available when you are there, that way they feed you and be happy.

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eetOPNew mum :)•

Ah, yes. I let my grandparents know as soon as I go to their house that I could only eat bland foods. The problem was that Grandma was bringing food out faster than I could eat! And when she saw all the food left over, she started bringing out smellier things (like the egg...).

But it's ok. Only a few more weeks! Then hopefully I can eat more :)

1
[deleted]•

The smells are the worst! even now my nose is super powerful and it ruins things for me:/ Hopefully it doesn't last for you, and your really lucky to still have your grandparents around! I miss mine, even though they too made me nuts.

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