[Prompt] Cannon Harry.

Harry commandeering the Durmstrang ship, and then surprising everyone by successfully firing a cannon on it. McGonagall is heard shouting at Karkaroff: “Why would you need to have working cannons on that glorified ship in a bottle?!”

Karkaroff: “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Igor hated guard duty. What was the point of having a guard on a ship in a lake at a friendly school? It wasn't like there were any pirates anywhere. They weren't adrift in the South China Sea for Baba Yaga's sake.

He sighed and thought of the warm interior of the castle, filled with french and english beauties just waiting for him to -

Thunder sounded from the shore, and the sound of splintered wood echoed through the ship as it suddenly jerked to the side.

"Cut sail and sit on yer fingers, ya lilly-livered swine!" A voice carried through the ship,

Igor pulled his wand out and ran to the stairs that led belowdecks, but when he opened the weatherproofed door to descend and see what was happening, he nearly impaled his own throat on a long, curved blade.

"Drop yer weapon, scurvy dog!" That same voice growled at him. A pair of green eyes narrowed at him from beneath a tricorn hat as the wickedly sharp blade nicked the skin of his throat. Igor immediately dropped his wand and backed away from the door. The blade wielder, nearly a foot shorter than him, grinned.

"There's a good lad." He stopped to pick up Igor's wand and slipped it into a pocket. "Now! Hoist sail and turn about, Bos'n! We've booty awaitin'! Uh.. and then get below decks and mend the hull."

Igor gawped at the boy, until he felt the flat of the boy's blade against his backside. He nodded once at the new captain and busied himself with the sails.

Some days it just didn't pay to get out of bed.

Harry Potter who solves all his problems by liberal application of dakka would be interesting to see.

E.g.:

Hey look, buddy, I'm an Auror. That means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is love?", because that would fall within the purview of the Department of Mysteries. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean Death Eater from tearing me a structurally superfluous behind? The answer, use a cannon, and if that doesn't work... Use more cannons.

In the Second String, Harry joins a Pirate Ship for a bit and does fire cannons 😅😅

God I love that story....

He learned everything he needed to know from Dobby after his first Quidditch game of 2nd year.