Unwanted Inheritance (The Rant I Never Gave to My Father)

This is interesting. Your imagery is haunting and unique like "you prowl / in every recess like a dog. / too near the end to show / his blunted teeth." That says so much in and of itself. This person is no longer a threat to you. They are, in fact, giving you money. However, his reaction to basic changes in television remind you of a time when "the dog" still had teeth. He shows "up in the mirror / time and again."

For what its worth, my mother was a Goldwater girl turned leftist. I suspect she has similar feeling to her family as this narrator does to his unwanted inheritance. She always knew there were things she had to hide if she ever wanted to come home; if she ever didn't want to lose the __________.

I feel like you could navigate a show not tell attitude to the interracial couple line, maybe an allusion to love vs America or something.

I feel like the poem is about your dad being an asshole. Is it also about him being a chauvinist and also a racist And are these inherently bad things. What do they have to do with your struggle to your present moment . Maybe mention something he said one time about an inter racial couple I think that would fold into the rest of the poem more easily

I really like the beginning and the mood and the words I just think it can be more.

You set the scene for this very well, using short lines and breaking sentences into chunks. I also really like how you bring it back to dirty laundry, it makes it feel as if there’s a full conclusion, but it also shows that the laundry still hasn’t or can’t be washed showing that level of unfinished business.

Overall well done. However some of the sentence cutoffs felt a little awkward to me. Specifically the ones that jump from one set to another such as “you prowl in every recess like a dog” (amazing metaphor there by the way). The abrupt cuts are nice for the most part, but I think they could feel a little more natural.

I really like this. You convey the poem's visuals in a haunting way that feels very distinct. The sentence cutoffs are a bit awkward but overall add to the poem especially for sentence two. I had to reread that one a few times to fully get it. The imagery you give is super vivid and unforgettable. Overall this is great and I wish you the best

I love the title. From my understanding of it, it seems that you inherited all of the wrong things from your father: he gave you thoughts (like the one that comes with commercials) you never wanted or asked for. I love the various ways to compare him to something unpleasant: tumor, stain, and dirty laundry. I like how you chose the words 'starve' and 'deprive' to show just how much you are struggling to get him out of your mind but to no avail.

Its overall such a relatable poem to others with similar fathers or just similar people in their lives overall that had this sort of impact on them. Even though I personally never was in this sort of situation, I can still feel (to the biggest extent possible for me) the same emotions you are feeling in this poem.

I can feel the pain and rage and your experience of feeling helpless to separate yourself from your father. Your vulnerability is raw and feels authentic. I love the "flinch at keys in locks" line. I think that line would be more powerful if it ended a stanza instead of leading into the commercial line.

Your experience is so relatable and gives me a visceral reaction.

Also, consider taking out the parenthetical portion of the title as it seems to give too much away, too early. It is possibly, unnecessarily, narrowing of the scope of the poem...as the concept of your father is clearly communicated in the body of the poem as well.

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I really enjoy the formatting of the poem. The way the content reads the structure given to it, the word choice lends to feelings of finally standing up to him, all times courageous, vulnerable and afraid. They way its structured feels thought out and premeditated at the same time it seemed like it was the last straw and this is the right time to say all these things and it could not wait.

I’m wondering what allowed the tumor to “grow”. Is it something related to abuse? I get that from the “flinching” of keys in locks. Flinching is a great verb to show the fear. How was the author starving him? And has the author “in the mirror” become just like the father?

"I feel you / in every chauvinistic thought // that creeps, unwelcome, into / my head..." absolutely incredible line, you can really feel how this overpowering father has seeped into every facet of this speakers mind. You very well capture this overwhelming power dynamic through possible physical abuse (that is my guess from reading this), emotional abuse, and other general power dynamics and manipulation. With the specific use of the word chauvinistic there, the mentioning of an interracial couple in another stanza, and with the title, it seems to be shown here that this father figure is highly ignorant and bigoted, and potentially used their power to try and force these opinions onto the speaker. You ended this poem powerfully with "the dirty / laundry I can't seem to wash." especially from the mention of stains earlier in the poem. If I had anything I think you could improve upon, I think it's the line, "too near the end to show / his blunted teeth." While I really like the imagery of a terrifying dog at recess to display this brutal force, "to near the end to show" feels kind of unclear here, and with such powerful imagery in the rest of this, I feel like you could maybe expand on that a little bit more.

This poem is very relatable. I can feel the resentment and deep emotions you are trying to convey. It hit home with me as I also have this resentment towards my father

Hey dude, this is one of the best piece I’ve read in recent times, the imagery is almost haunting. Though i still wonder what allows the tumour to grow? I hope you’re doing well.

I absolutely love this piece, it is raw, rhythmic, and filled with accessible imagery. Right off the bat I loved “you leave a stain, like coffee or dry blood” just really fleshes out the disdain you feel for the imprint your father left on you. This poem tugs on your emotional heartstrings while making you contemplate what is really passed down from our parents. The imagery is violent and intense, it leaves no question of how you feel. Looking forward to reading more from you.

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Most people never "give the rant" someone deserves, either because they are afraid of the person or just don't think they are worth it. My experience is most people view your rant as just not understanding them or they feel they are not responsible. That ran through my first marriage and ruined. The words left unsaid are often more damaging than those said, not sure who said that? Great images in the words.