I don't know what to do.

Since I was 16 years old (19 now) I've suffered from on and off depression. I'll sum up the facts to give you guys an idea of my situation. My sister (with whom I was very close) died a couple of years ago. I play sports, play music and go to art school, but feel like I'm doing everything halfway and don't have a real passion. Also, when people hear that I go to art school, they usually treat me like a six-year-old, a moron or a combination of those two. I only like guys who treat me like shit, and am apparently incapable of liking any guy who might actually be nice to me. Most of the time I feel really socially awkward, especially around people I don't know that well. I cry myself to sleep a lot.

I've never talked to anyone about this. I went to see a psychologist when it first started, but then stopped going after a couple of times because I didn't feel it was helping at all. Sometimes it gets so bad that I hurt myself. I don't think I would ever be able to commit suicide, because I've seen what my parents went through when my sister died. I don't want to put them through anything like that ever again.

But now I feel like I'm stuck here, in my own head, and I can't move forward. Does anyone know what I can do to stop this and move along?