Long Time Reader, First Time Writer...

I've heard voices in the last decade, only on occasion, and mostly nice enough. I haven't had any psych evaluations, but my mother is an RN and I don't think I have any mental illness. So, that's my disclaimer, now I'll tell you about my experiences. Also, because I'm not telling a story and just want to get this out there, no suspenseful writing, use your imaginations to their fullest (sorry).

To begin with is my first voice. I use the term "voice" loosely, a few were more vocalizations or auditory disturbances than anything. It was a few years ago, I believe I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. I was lying in bed (which at the time was a mattress on the ground). I'm one of those uncomfortable people that sleeps on the edge of giant beds, so when I hear a pig grunt next to my head I didn't know how to feel. To be clear, I have my eyes wide open and see nothing. The grunting continues down the edge of my bed, snuffling on occasion and the thing taking deep breaths with those animal sighs following. I wasn't sleepy or dreaming, and the time could only have been ten. This experience didn't scare me, but since it was just too odd to be scary and too random to be worrying, I let it pass.

The second vocalization was when I was on the computer in a dark room. It was night, family and animals all gone to bed or have been put up, and a man growls at the back of my neck. It was clearly a grown (human) man, and he was clearly a hands breadth from the back of my neck. I'm not entirely sure why, but it just didn't scare me. I even did that amused teenager snort, because I thought it was funny.

Let me say that again, I thought it was HUMOROUS that I may be developing a mental illness. I was such a dumbfuck. I think I've figured out why most of these 'voices' didn't freak me out and I'll elaborate on that later on.

Third voice was on a hot summer night in bed. I'd already stripped down to my underwear, but my legs were still hot and tangled in the sheets. I peeled the blankets off and billowed them up into the air. At that point, a woman coyly laughed from the foot of my bed, emanating from under my sheets.

Next up is the latest voice I've heard. And let me tell you, it scared the shit out of me. I was a senior in high school, waiting at the bus stop. I'm scared of driving, get off my back. It was a dark morning, I mean black, only the orange street lights illuminating the roads and my stop. There was no fog and my neighborhood doesn't have roaming animals or people. What I'm getting at is that I was utterly alone, and I could see a clear 300+ feet around me in all directions. Then there was a hissing at the back of my neck. No, not really just hissing, it was in a language. It almost sounded reversed, as cliche as that is. I whipped around, legs beginning to quiver. Nothing. There was no one, and that 'vocalization' had been close. To get the picture, if this had come from a physical being I would have probably felt moist breath or lips on my neck. That close. At this point, I need to convey to you how it feels to be scared shitless, but I'm no author so the skill and talent with words eludes me. If my bus hadn't pulled up within the next 2.5 seconds, I would have ran home. What I can do now is communicate to you why I was scared.

Every other voice I've heard has a similar feeling, it's natural or at least familiar in a vague way. I believe this is because each has stemmed from a living force. As if spirits roam the world randomly, and on occasion my spiritual radio switches to AM and I can somehow filter out a little spooky experience from the white noise of the living. Because of this randomness, I feel like each voice means me no harm. If anything, they just want to spook me, no actual malice involved and I somehow know this inherently.

This last voice, however, had a different feel. It was full of malice and it made no mistake in targeting me. Its vocalization was at me, for me, and it fucking scared me. Mission accomplished. Unlike the others, it had a different feel to it as well. The 'demonic' voice had the confidence and clarity that told me not only it was comfortable and intelligent but also something that had never lived.

Can you imagine? Never knowing life or death, just existing as a power with purpose. Fucking scary. And now that leaves me, it's not been a year since that experience and I still wonder if it'll find me again, which I'm such it could. Just a matter of when, really.