Is It Okay To Show Up At Your Santee's Door?

This keeps coming up. Here are my thoughts:

First, if you can work out enough about the person to reassure you that this person really would get a kick about being surprised thusly by a stranger, well, then go for it, and good luck to you.

Otherwise, even if this stranger lives down the street - please, don't do this. Participating in this gift exchange means trusting strangers. When we trust strangers, we trust them to respect our boundaries, and not to assume they know what they are.

Okay, so your Santee lives within driving distance, and you've stalked him or her, and you think this person is just fabulous and you've love to meet.

Put that in the gift. Don't try to contact the person prior to sending the gift, particularly. (edit: don't try to contact the person about meeting prior to sending the gift)

The gifting should NOT be seen to be predicated on personal contact.

Include a note with contact info. If you want to be trusted more, include your Internet name(s).

Give your Santee a chance to think about this, before you show up on the doorstep. Yes, in some cases, with some people, this will work out splendidly.

But not in all cases. People are different. Even with online dating services, it's really not appropriate to just show up like that. And gift exchanges are really quite different from online dating services, even though many who participate in gift exchanges may harbor such hopes.

And that's okay, too. Or if you are just excited about the possibility of meeting a new friend, that too.

My point is pretty much that this is your first chance to make a good first impression on your neighbor. You will not get another one.

Keep it classy.