Is my view of relationships and love naive or unreasonable? My boyfriend is very upset.

The grammar error in the title is killing me...

Anyway, my boyfriend and I (early 30's, mid 20's) just had a conversation about relationships and it ended with him being very upset over me not loving unconditionally. Do I have a strange view of relationships and love?

For context, my boyfriend and I were talking about relationships in general lately. We've recently been having some hard times; things are a little strained because of an incident that I considered a small violation of trust. We're getting over it, but we've gotten caught in a bit of a negative cycle and are having a hard time getting out.

Anyway, he was saying that he thought the hallmark of a strong relationship was to manage to maintain closeness through relationship "'hiccups" like that. I said that I thought we'd been doing pretty well, and that everything takes time. He started talking then about relationships he's watched that he really respected, and how they got through major relationship disruptions very well. As in, he has a strange respect for the kind of relationships where people get into vicious fights but "get through them," or someone cheats and they work it out, etc.

I have a polar opposite opinion on that. Life is too short to spend it with someone who claims that they love you but intentionally hurts you, be it with words or actions. I would never tolerate it. I've been in several long-term relationships, and have even been cheated on, but I've never been with anyone who would say things with the intention of causing me pain, or do something to make me jealous/sad/angry/or otherwise uncomfortable intentionally. I couldn't imagine willfully hurting a partner I love. I feel that expecting the same from a partner who claims that they love me is not unreasonable.

He stopped me after I explained my position and told me that it seems like I have a "lot of conditions on love." He told me that he needs unconditional love from a relationship, and that by saying those things I was telling him what would make me not love him anymore. He told me it was "naive to the point of absurdity" to believe that someone that loves me wouldn't intentionally hurt me at some point, that people have emotional outbursts and say things they don't mean, etc. He was very upset, and said he couldn't forget that I said that. Said it terrified him to think that the relationship could end in the future because he says the wrong thing. I told him it would have to be a pattern of behavior, and if it ever came to that, then yeah, the relationship would be unhealthy and I would leave.

My head's spinning. Am I really being naive or unreasonable? Please tell me if I am. I really believe I could say with certainty that I would never intentionally harm anyone I love. I've never "said things I don't mean" in a fight. I think that's bullshit. My anger or other strong feelings toward my partner never have and would never be expressed like that. I feel like he values unhealthy relationships more than healthy ones because the unhealthy ones "work through things together," when it seems to me that they're just putting up with crap that they could avoid if they found someone else.

Any insight? I'm asking mostly for opinions of what unconditional love is. I mean, you'd tell someone to leave a physical abuser in a heartbeat no matter how much they said they loved them, so there has to be a line that behavior crosses to "justify" leaving the relationship, right? Where's that line for you? Also, do you, when you're very emotional, ever intentionally attack or hurt your partner? If you do, do you love them? What are your thoughts on that?

Any input would be great.