Questions about medications.

Hey r/depression. I've been dealing with depression since I was much younger. Originally, when I was diagnosed, a psychiatrist put me on antidepressants and mood stabilizers. I took them for a short period of time, but I felt like they were a bad influence at the time. I thought of my medicated self as a "false version" of myself, if that makes sense. I stopped taking them on these grounds, and to be honest, I don't even remember if they had an effect on me. Stopping my treatment was, go figure, an emotional choice and not based on any logic at all.

Now it is many years later. Overall, I did a decent job patching myself up. I used to regularly meltdown and freak out when my depression got bad. It was crippling. I now have a steady job and friends I see all the time, but my moods have shifted rapidly lately. There are many depressing influences on me right now, and they have all sort of culminated into a crushing blow to my morale. I feel right back where I was before, maybe with more knowledge of how my depression works, but still deep in despair.

To get to my question, I am wondering what effect depression meds noticeably have on you. I'm not sure how they will effect my moods, my decision making process, and my ability to feel. I'm not obviously expecting to be a robot-vegetable, but I really didn't stay on my medications long enough to understand what they do. I am considering seeing a psychiatrist to get on them again, but I would like firsthand information first. I want to know as much as I can before I make the choice.

I just don't want to lose any parts of myself that I like. I hate being depressed but I feel like these medications have wider-scale effects. I would really appreciate feedback on what you feel about them.

TL:DR- Depressed. Interested in medication, not sure how it works. Need some information about effects.