Unsolicited advice...

I know, as parents, we've all been there, done that. A friend, a helpful family member, always right there to give you advice you never wanted to begin with. For any reason; the Little Darlings are being heathens, and you want to vent to your best friend who never wanted kids to begin with, and s/he starts going on about something they heard on Dr. Phil last week. The mother (or mother in law, a bullet I dodged) calls and for two hours does nothing but tell you how you're poisoning your kid with kool-aid and and THAT is why they can't pay attention in school.

But I'm in a slightly... different position.

I'm a single parent. My son's dad bailed a few years ago, and we're better off without him - but the village that has raised my four year old, that is to say, my family (whom I love, adore, worship, and am grateful for daily) has turned into a collective "Daddy" monster and I am almost at my wits end. You see, my son is handicapped. Severely handicapped. He's autistic, epileptic, bipolar, mentally retarded, and parts of his brain are dying off. It's an ugly situation, to be sure. He goes to a school for special needs kids, and he has absolutely thrived. A million and ten percent. I've watched him go from a non-verbal toddler who was testing at a 6-9 month level to a happy, social little boy who functions closer to a 2 year old level. He's amazing, truly.

Here's where things get tricky. I have to work. I'm a single mom, and my ex doesn't pay his child support for whatever reason. I could press charges, I'm sure, but for the 112 bucks a month, I'd rather he just stayed away entirely. I think of it as an idiot tax. However, with my son's medical needs, it became necessary to give my mom legal guardianship of my son. I simply could not work and be at the hospital every other day. It wasn't possible. The problem is, my mom is just one of those overbearing people who is the only person who could ever be right about anything. Ever. Just ask her.

This upcoming semester at my son's school, my mom has made the decision that he will be put in a 50/50 class (that is, 50 % of the children will be typically functioning, and 50 % will be special needs). His teachers did not recommend this, but they have agreed to it. I'm completely against it, but legally, I can't stop it from happening. I just spent three hours listening to my 20 year old sister and 18 year old brother (I'm 25) BERATE me for even DARING to suggest that as his mother, this should be my decision, regardless of a piece of paper that my mother has abused multiple times in the past in similar situations in order to make sure that HER way was the way that we went.

I'm just.. at my wit's end. I could take her to court and take back guardianship, but my son doesn't qualify for daycare of any sort, including special needs (in this state, the child must be ably functioning on a 1 adult to 2 children ratio to qualify for special needs daycares, and I genuinely can't even think about private daycare for special needs kids. The cost is exorbitant and even with a fantastic job it's just not possible), and without her help, I can't work.

I don't think I want legal advice. I think I just want... parent advice. How to make myself heard without sounding like a bitch, because at this point, I'm pretty damn bitchy. Any advice or even just a damn hug at this point would be appreciated. sigh

edit: TL;DR, my mom's a pain in the ass and if she doesn't stop attempting to take over raising my kid I'm going to stab her in her fleshy bits with a spork.