Day 25 update: More free time, better concentration and more!

Well its day 25 and I just wanted to make a post with the positive things I have noticed. I got started by reading other's positive posts so hopefully this will encourage a couple people to start day 1. (sidenote: Does anyone really read the "I fucked up :(" posts? Seems like a waste of time to me but hopefully it helps the OPs by recording their immediate impressions after a slip up)

Anyway what I have noticed so far. For one thing the "urge" that I used to get on a daily is gone. Maybe it will come back but for about the last week it has not been there. I would say that for the first 16 days or so it was there. Sometimes it was horniness but usually it was more either being bored needing a quick pick-me-up/dopamine hit. But now that is gone.

It is replaced with an understanding of how much time I used to devote to the practice of PMO. It used to be a large part of my life, that is a fact and it always will be. But there is desire to go back to it. It's more of a choice that yes, I COULD go watch porn, but there is no real drive to do so. It's just a weird feeling that that used to be my life, and now it isn't. It's kind of exciting and kind of nerve wracking at the same time. Like being in a new and strange world.

OK enough about my feelings, what positive effects am I seeing? Well I can say that I am really feeling the extra free time that I have. I used to be the type of PMO-er that would watch porn for hours on end and prolong orgasm until the last second. At which time I would bust a nut, immediately feel disgusted with myself and close all the windows. It's weird now that I can classify myself as someone who used to be that way. It's not something I ever want to go back to. How silly.

So yes lets see. I would say that on AVERAGE I used to spend about 2 hours each day on pornography (and I think that is being kind to myself). So If I do the math that is about 56 hours per month or 672 hours per year which comes out to, wow, 28 days per year spent in front of the computer looking at pictures of people naked, doing weird sex things. I'm not sad about it, I'm excited because now it's as if I have gained 28 extra days each year that were not there before!

But it doesn't stop there. I no longer THINK ABOUT watching porn all day. It used to be in the back of my mind all day "when can I watch porn" "What genre am I going to watch later" "Let's just half-ass this thing I'm doing real quick so that I can go watch". And then almost on a daily basis I would see something that would trip my switch and then I would have no choice but to start thinking these thoughts. I would get anxious whenever I had to get any work done because I could not control my own mind. I would be saying to myself "Gosh I really hope that I am able to concentrate today because I really need to get this work done" How silly! I should be in control of my mind not the other way around. And by eliminating the biggest, most ingrained pull that my mind had on me I have reclaimed a large part of my cognitive abilities. I have noticed a substantial increase in my ability to think and concentrate over the last week. (side note: If you are doing nofap and still partaking in activities which rob you of your control over your own thinking, ie. drugs, alchohol, excessive fantasy, then I think you are really shortchanging yourself of one of the best benefits of nofap. Sure you will automatically get more feeling in your penis and you will automatically get more physical energy but having some control of your thoughts is where it's really at.

I thought I would have more to say on the subject but I don't. So I'll wrap it up with some annectdotal evidence of nofap's benefits because that is what I most enjoy reading in.

-My voice has been getting more powerful and more direct. (would like it to get deeper but hasn't happened yet) Still I realize now that when I used to talk many times I would put an upwards inflection at the end of my sentences as if asking a question. People seem more comfortable talking to me now and tend to hang around as if wanting more conversation.

-Several of my coworker's have said that the last couple of days I have seemed very happy. One's exact words "There's something different you're doing man".

-I enjoy socializing now. It used to be an unavoidable fact of life whereas now it is a fun activity. I think I only used to do it to A) appear normal and B) so that I could have the proof later that I wasn't a loser/weirdo. As though I could really stop my negative thoughts by saying "no wait, you hung out with friends last weekend. See, you really are happy". Anyway I'm glad I faked it well enough that I have friends to hang out with because now I'm going to really enjoy them!

-Increased stares from girls, or maybe just me catching their eye and them staring back. Also a random girl stopping me to ask if I had a lighter and then talking to me for a bit while she lit up. I don't think she would have asked if I had done my old "act more important like I have a lot going on while I pass her" thing. Seemed like just a way to start a conversation. What kind of cigarette smoker doesn't carry a lighter?

-Periods of absolute delight with living in the world and being surrounded by people. Smile's on my face with every new person I see. Appreciating everyone for being how they are, even the sad people.

So that's it. I guarantee you it's worth the effort to get where I am (which isn't even that far along, there's still more to come!) If you are just starting out you should have an honest talk with yourself about what P+M has done for you thus far and what you would really like to experience in regards to sex, love and emotional fulfillment. I think you will be like me in that you would rather have the real thing than a computer screen. And if you are like me and you are honest with yourself you should realize that you cannot have both, it will not work. It will be sad at first to let go of P. After all it has been an old friend who has always been there for a quick emotional pick me up. But you also know that this is the same old friend who would leave you feeling sad, used up and ashamed of yourself. So make up your mind about you want and do whatever it takes to stick to your choice. I guarantee that it will be a rough couple of weeks initially but I can also guarantee that it will get better after that. If you start now you can be past the roughest part in time for Christmas.