I just need to vent for a moment, please

Hello, I would like to apologize in advance for this poorly written rant. I hope this is at least slightly coherent. I am a complete mess. Please do not assume I have many other friends, or even the ability to make them, because I am in high school.

I just found out my best friend, who I never see outside of school due to distance, is transferring in order to be at a school where she will be higher up in rankings. Before she made a final decision, she said that she would stay if I wanted her to. Of course I did, but how could I be the one to keep her from going to her dream college? She has no idea what she means to me. She is the only reason I can still manage to get out of bed in the morning. When she is gone I will have no one. All of my other friends have boyfriends, meaning I will be the constant third wheel. Everyone else I know, I am merely an acquaintance with. Not many people want to get close to me, however I'm excellent at keeping people entertained.

My friend keeps reassuring me that we will remain close, that she "loves me too much to let our friendship go", and that I will always be her best friend even when she's gone. I have heard all of this things before, and ya wanna know something? It's bullshit. It is complete and utter bullshit. Words are meaningless. It is actions that matter. People can say whatever the fuck they want, but when the time comes to actually drive the full hour, pay the gas money, and take the time, people realize how little they care. We will drift apart like all the others who have been in our shoes.

Today I was also rejected by a guy I've liked for ages. I have been tossed in the friend zone, never to escape. Oddly enough, though, I was sort of relieved. Does that make any sense? I mean it would have been nice to be in a relationship, sure, but that opens the door to countless other problems and risks. Also, I'm not exactly in the best place for a relationship right now.

Once again, I am terribly sorry about the quality of this post. I'm just sort of desperate right now. I can't talk to anyone about this, obviously, since the only person I can usually go to is the reason I'm so upset. I appreciate you even reading this. Thank you for your time, and I hope it wasn't too awful.