Unsuccessfully quitting

Curious if this is normal CA or not of it others experienced this. I got it in my mind that I would finally quit. Halloween has always been a fun spot for me last year I decided to quit smoking. I broke my last cigarette in half and haven't smoked since (11 year smoker, Chantix helped).

Anyway for this year I decided to quit drinking. But I found myself in a 2 month long bender. First time in my life I actually drank during the work week. I would drink an insane amount on the weekends, 16 beers, then 20-something, then finally I did 32 beers on halloween night (most beers ever) because I didn't want a single drop left in the house.

Well I had 2 left, I didn't drink for a week or two, then after a rather stressful week I figured wtf went and got a 12 pack, thinking I'd try one more time finish those 14 on the weekend and be done.

Now it's December and I've drank 2 more times, last time I even went back to liquor and finished 6 beers an 1 liter of rum.

I really want to quit.