Looking for a .45 but kick is an issue. Suggestions?

I have tendonitis in my wrists from years of IT work. I currently have a Taurus PT809 and love it. Purchased for less kick and (mainly) cheaper ammo for target practice. I'd like to get a .45 for conceal carry instead of the 9mm. Are there any out there that ergonomically deliver less force when firing? I can deal with it, but any relief I get is helpful. I've shot a 9mm XDm and loved it. How does it fare in .45?

Update: Loving all the feedback. Let me address some of the questions in one shot rather than inline below:

I'm not worried about my wrists in a defensive situation, however I also believe you should train with your concealed carry weapon enough that it's an extension of your hand. If I do that and leave my hands useless, it would defeat the purpose. Right now my taurus feels like part of me.

I have been carrying for a long time, I'm not just looking to start now. Concealing a full size XDm wouldn't be an issue for someone my size.

The reason I'm tempted to move to a 45 because it's a stronger round imho for this situation. You're looking for trauma more than penetration, and through all the 200 page arguments on forums about 9mm vs. .45 (a debate that will last longer than we'll be alive) I've always seen "well, the .45 causes more damage, but...". If there is some study with pig carcasses or something showing that 9 is just as good as .45, I would love to see it.

And I shoot properly, as close to a Weaver stance as I can get.

Update #2: I didn't read all the way through mkmckinley's comment before updating the last time. Now I'd like to pretend I never wrote the 9 vs. .45 paragraph above this one and not look like a jackass, but I'd rather look stupid and have this new information. I'll stick with my 9mm. I hadn't considered how important the higher penetration could be.