I have some questions, trying to understand trans people better.

Hello!

So, for myself, I basically feel apathetic towards my gender. Because of that, I'm totally fine just going with my sex as what I am. So for me, I can't really rely on personal experience to guide my beliefs and such.

I've been close to a couple transgender people before, and they described it like they strongly felt they are a member of the opposite sex. It didn't have anything to do with gender norms, or societal aspect. Of course, it sucks to have other people treating you like a guy when you're a girl, but I got the impression that if they were locked in a room without any social contact, they'd still want to have a girl's body and would place value in themselves being girls.

So to me, when I heard people saying things like "gender is a social construct", and that "we need to get rid of gender norms to help transgender people" I got pretty frustrated, because I figured it was cis people fundamentally misunderstanding that gender is innate and not based on social and cultural aspects, and that they are just going to make life harder for trans people.

But I guess there are transgender people and people who are learned in the field who are also saying that gender is a social construct, or that getting rid of gender norms will help transgendered folk. So, what gives?

Is there some rift in the trans community over this concept? Is the belief that gender works fundamentally different for some people, in that it is innate and solid for some people, but just based on cultural aspects for others? Do people who seem to be innately and solidly transgender tend to get frustrated with people who are genderfluid or otherwise suggest that it's something that can can be influenced and changed?

I hope I didn't say anything offensive - I'm really trying to understand this better.