If there's no difference between a man and a woman, why do I feel gender dysphoria?

Title sounds weird, but hear me out. Apologies that it's a bit long.

I've seen so many people talk about how you don't need to have breasts, have a high pitched voice, have shaved arms, have a feminine face, to be a woman, and the opposite for men. And while I agree with this, if that's true, then what's the point of having gender dysphoria?

I vented to some online friends a while ago about my masculine parts and how I hate my body, body hair, voice, etc. Their response was that women aren't always curvy, women have the same amount of body hair, some women have masculine voices, some women don't have breasts, so it's fine. And I get that, and that they were trying to help. But then, if I am completely a girl without any of those things and I don't need to have feminine features to be one, then why should I have gender dysphoria, or dislike my body, if I don't need to change my body to be a woman?

Some people say that "oh if you're a woman then obviously you would want a more curvy body and breasts and all that, just like any woman would, so that's why you feel that way". But it's not. I don't like my body because I don't look like a girl, at all. But then, if all of my features aren't exclusive to being a boy, then what's the point of feeling bad that I don't look like the average girl?

I'm not sure if you understand what I'm trying to say, and I apologize.

Furthermore, if I don't need any of those things to be a woman, why do I want them to be a woman? Does that make me a shitty person/sexist? If I want to shave my body to feel and look like a girl, but that's just a forced stereotype and not all girls shave their body, am I pushing that stereotype more and being sexist by saying that shaving my body will be more feminine?

I saw a post today, and no hate to the author or anyone because they were just trying to help, that was like "you don't need to have this this this feature to be a trans boy/girl" or that "having this this this feature is fine for a trans boy/girl". And again, I get that. But then again, if I don't need to change my body to be a trans girl at all, why am I not fine with my body as it is, then?

I wrote out my thoughts on this a while ago, but am still conflicted (for context, I think someone was talking about how trans people actually end up enforcing gender roles, and they didn't understand/like how most trans people end up looking or wanting to do stereotypically gendered things)

"there's usually an innate feeling to be and be seen as the other gender by themselves and society. that is not learned. there's a feeling to match themselves to the opposite gender and be included among them.

but they're subject to the same standards of gender as other people like mentioned in this thread, and I guess that part is learned and variable. they want to be perceived as their gender or the sex they were meant to be, and how they are perceived depends on those stereotypes. they want to be seen as their gender to society, and having short/long hair, wearing gendered clothes, etc. helps compensate if that person doesn't usually look like their gender or is unable to be seen as one.

they want to do those stereotypical things / have stereotypical features because it helps them be perceived as their gender more, and for a lot of trans people, that's the only way they're gonna be perceived properly.

they're just trying to fit into the rest of the world's expectations of their gender. if they don't, they're gonna pass less and be "clocked" as being trans, become dissatisfied with how much they don't look like their gender as other people see, a lot of people tend to say shit like "if you don't like doing girly things, why do you want to be a girl", etc.

people should be more accepting of cis girls not looking "feminine" or not doing "feminine" things and doing "masculine" things instead, or cis boys not looking "masculine" or not doing "masculine" things and doing "feminine" things instead. only then would then a lot of trans people not have to go out of their way to look and act exactly like a stereotypical boy/girl for people to see them as one and accept them as one. that would benefit society as a whole, and maybe that would also end up lessening gender dysphoria."

Again, apologizes if you don't understand what I'm trying to say, but I think I got it across well. What are you folks' thoughts on it?

Edit: thanks for all the responses, they were all interesting to read and explained it well. thanks!